Friday, January 28, 2011

Catty B*tches

“I don’t really like other women.”

From Cheap Wine and Cookies
“I don’t get along with other women.”
“Other women don’t like me.”

I hear this sort of thing relatively often, (for instance today) and it makes me cringe at best. At worst, it sends me into a full-on, feminist rant. What follows is something in between:

Sometimes I just want to scream at women who talk like that. “Do you have any idea how pompous you sound saying that?”

You may not mean it that way, but you sound like a complete freaking narcissist. And really, half the women I hear say this do a whole lot of other things that put them in the narcissist category, too.

Not only does it make you sound ridiculously full of yourself; it makes you sound desperate for male attention. Like you actually value men more than women.

Look at what you’re saying. You’re setting all women apart as one class, removing yourself from that class, and placing yourself above it. To say you don’t get along with or like other women is to place yourself above your own gender.

By implying that you get along with men better than women, you are implicitly placing more value on the masculine.

We live in a society that values the masculine above the feminine. Say all you want about the great leaps and bounds we’ve made, the fact remains that women are still stereotyped as being weak, emotional (in a negative way), and irrational. The competition for mates is also seen as more fierce among females. An unmarried man in his 30s is a bachelor. An unmarried woman in her 30s is often an object of pity. Which is so frigging stupid! Don’t even get me started on THAT tangent. I am also consciously avoiding including anyone who is not heterosexual from this particular analysis because it would make it too long and convoluted.

Women who set themselves apart from women are giving in to the above stereotypes. They are trying to separate themselves from negative perceptions of femininity, but they’re going about it in a completely asinine way. You want to separate yourself from the negative stereotypes associated with women? Prove them wrong!

Don’t be a catty bitch. That’d be a great start.

Embrace the great things about being a woman. Embrace the things you love about other women. Don’t be swayed by those who spout off crap about how women are whiny or bitchy or whatever else. “Hey, Dumbass, I’m a woman and I am NONE of those things, nor are any of my female friends.”

Don’t run around acting all effing superior to other women and reinforcing the negative stereotypes that women are backbiting and catty.

Then again, if you say shtuff like that, you probably are backbiting and catty.

Am I saying you have to love every woman you meet? Hell no. Obviously. I clearly dislike catty bitches and women who act like they’re better than other woman.  It's self defeating and immature.  I mean, you hear it more from snotty teenagers than anyone else.  Hell, I said it as a snotty teenager even though I knew it wasn't true.  I have always had a lot of male friends, at times more than I had female friends.  But I have always had female friends, too.

Saying you don't get along with other women is just asinine.  Do you have a mom?  Sister?  Best friend or woman you look up to?  Yeah.  Kindof bitchy to them to say you don't like women, eh?  

How about we as women stop being the only class that is so easily tricked into turning on our own?  Because really, what would you think of someone who said "I really don't get along with other Caucasians?"  

Sounds pretty effing stupid, right?

Trust me, I get the desire to be part of the boys club.  I belong to TWO historically male dominated professions (though law is moving away from that).  So I get it.  I know that sometimes it makes things easier to just be one of the boys.  I've done it a lot in my life.  But, you know what?  You don't have to be a catty bitch to make it in the boy's club.  And you don't have to get down on women.  You just have to have the balls - er, ovaries - to own who you are.


Originally Posted:
Jan 28, 2011 10:26 AM


Diandra said...

Honestly, there was a time in my life when I really didn't get along well with the girls/women my age, or at least with those at my school. They were all into party and boys and makeup, and to me it seemed that they never ever said a single intelligent thing - or at least not in public. It was way easier (and more relaxing) to go and play with the boys. Luckily there were other "weird chicks" like me in case I couldn't stand all that crazy testosterone anymore. These days I find it refreshing to have all-girls' nights. But of course these days (being a grown-up and working and such) I get to choose the people I spend my time with.

I think one problem, at least sometimes, is that women are so damn competitive. I realize this when meeting with my sisters - all very creative, all currently SAHMs. And all competing for first price when it comes to a) having perfect children and b) a clean house and c) not being a dull housewive. I love them, really but it's tough spending time with all of them together. And sometimes the same happens with other purely female groups as well. Of course this is caused by all the pressure put on modern women, but still... sometimes I just prefer to sit with the guys, have a beer and laugh about jokes that are definitely not PC.

Nadine Hightower said...

Okay but, I have tried to fit in with a certain group only for those women to get uppity with me. I didn't do anything other than maybe question them about their cattyness. I called them on it! And they turned on me. I want to empower women, support them in their efforts to be whatever they want to be. But can they do it without being hateful to others. I'm not fond of teens and skinny bitches but that's my personal problem.

I agree with what you've said. I can't like everyone... and I don't expect everyone to like me. That's way it is.
I try very hard not to be catty or hateful... But I'm human.

Karen Peterson said...

I was reading along feeling like I'd already read this before and then I realized that I had. And this is as true now as it was then.

I love women. I love what we can learn from one another and the way we can talk to each other and laugh and commiserate. It's just different than our relationships with men. But I really don't like when women are catty or mean. We are already mean enough to ourselves without other people trying to help us feel worse.

Jo said...

I don't get along well with most other women. I never say, "Women suck" or "I don't get along with any of them," but it's still true. But it's also true that I don't get along with most men, so I guess I should just say, "people" ;)

(And wonder what's wrong with me? :))


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