Friday, January 28, 2011

Catty B*tches

“I don’t really like other women.”

From Cheap Wine and Cookies
“I don’t get along with other women.”
“Other women don’t like me.”

I hear this sort of thing relatively often, (for instance today) and it makes me cringe at best. At worst, it sends me into a full-on, feminist rant. What follows is something in between:

Sometimes I just want to scream at women who talk like that. “Do you have any idea how pompous you sound saying that?”

You may not mean it that way, but you sound like a complete freaking narcissist. And really, half the women I hear say this do a whole lot of other things that put them in the narcissist category, too.

Not only does it make you sound ridiculously full of yourself; it makes you sound desperate for male attention. Like you actually value men more than women.

Look at what you’re saying. You’re setting all women apart as one class, removing yourself from that class, and placing yourself above it. To say you don’t get along with or like other women is to place yourself above your own gender.

By implying that you get along with men better than women, you are implicitly placing more value on the masculine.

We live in a society that values the masculine above the feminine. Say all you want about the great leaps and bounds we’ve made, the fact remains that women are still stereotyped as being weak, emotional (in a negative way), and irrational. The competition for mates is also seen as more fierce among females. An unmarried man in his 30s is a bachelor. An unmarried woman in her 30s is often an object of pity. Which is so frigging stupid! Don’t even get me started on THAT tangent. I am also consciously avoiding including anyone who is not heterosexual from this particular analysis because it would make it too long and convoluted.

Women who set themselves apart from women are giving in to the above stereotypes. They are trying to separate themselves from negative perceptions of femininity, but they’re going about it in a completely asinine way. You want to separate yourself from the negative stereotypes associated with women? Prove them wrong!

Don’t be a catty bitch. That’d be a great start.

Embrace the great things about being a woman. Embrace the things you love about other women. Don’t be swayed by those who spout off crap about how women are whiny or bitchy or whatever else. “Hey, Dumbass, I’m a woman and I am NONE of those things, nor are any of my female friends.”

Don’t run around acting all effing superior to other women and reinforcing the negative stereotypes that women are backbiting and catty.

Then again, if you say shtuff like that, you probably are backbiting and catty.

Am I saying you have to love every woman you meet? Hell no. Obviously. I clearly dislike catty bitches and women who act like they’re better than other woman.  It's self defeating and immature.  I mean, you hear it more from snotty teenagers than anyone else.  Hell, I said it as a snotty teenager even though I knew it wasn't true.  I have always had a lot of male friends, at times more than I had female friends.  But I have always had female friends, too.

Saying you don't get along with other women is just asinine.  Do you have a mom?  Sister?  Best friend or woman you look up to?  Yeah.  Kindof bitchy to them to say you don't like women, eh?  

How about we as women stop being the only class that is so easily tricked into turning on our own?  Because really, what would you think of someone who said "I really don't get along with other Caucasians?"  

Sounds pretty effing stupid, right?

Trust me, I get the desire to be part of the boys club.  I belong to TWO historically male dominated professions (though law is moving away from that).  So I get it.  I know that sometimes it makes things easier to just be one of the boys.  I've done it a lot in my life.  But, you know what?  You don't have to be a catty bitch to make it in the boy's club.  And you don't have to get down on women.  You just have to have the balls - er, ovaries - to own who you are.


Originally Posted:
Jan 28, 2011 10:26 AM

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Michigan Bound

So on the 29th we loaded up and headed out for another long haul to MI. MacGyver and I, Punky and Flintstone, and Sirius and Tonks (Kingsley had to stay home, a friend is checking in on him and the fish) and all our gear in Vivienne - my MazdaSpeed 3 hatchback. For 20 hours or so. Joy.

It really wasn't as bad as it could have been, though. Flintstone was such a good boy. We did a whole lot of the driving overnight, so he slept a lot - though I did spend a lot of time with one arm twisted into the backseat retrieving pacifiers, holding bottles, and just letting him hold my hand. I also spent a lot of time pumping. And a lot of time pumping with one hand while my other hand was in the backseat with him. My left shoulder has become quite flexible this week.
On the 30th, we dropped Punky off with BioB in Indy (well, we dropped her off with BioB's current boyfriend, BioB was at work). How sad is it that the first thing Punky said when we told her she was going to spend New Years with BioB was "ooo! I love that babysitter!" referring to the girl who watches Punky when she's there since BioB spends very little time with her.
The handoff went smoothly. BioB's boyfriend is a nice guy. He told us that BioB wants to move to Oklahoma. He hates the idea. I love it. There's no way in H-E- double hockey sticks that we're going to drive Punky all the way to OK for visitation.
BioB will actually have to provide transportation herself - something she's required to do since she's $13,000.00 in arrears for support, but she has only actually done once in the last 4 years or so.
So I say go to OK and good riddance. She abandoned Punky at 6 months and withdrew from her more and more until she was going 6 to 8 months without contacting us at all. She offered to consent to the adoption. Then, out of nowhere, she suddenly starts acting like she wants to be in Pubky's life again. It may be selfish, but I'm not ok with that. Especially since I think it's all for her boyfriend's sake. When they break up, which they do often, she looses all interest in Punky.
But I try to be reasonable and civil. So we dropped Punky off then skipped up to Lafayette to spend the evening with some friends from when we went to Purdue.
I LOVE Lafayette. It makes me so nostalgic. We had dinner at the restaraunt where MacGyver and I first met, and I caught up with my roommate from Sr year. Oh, the antics she and I pulled.
We crashed at a hotel, had breakfast with another friend who's a successful DJ in the area, and took off for the last 6 hour jump to Michigan. One day, we'll spend a weekend in Laf, go to our old haunts, and see DJ L spin.


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