Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Bull-Headed Bulldozers and Cheesecake

(The picture of us was taken not too long after the establishment of the miniversary.)
My life is like a sine wave.  When nothing is going on then, seriously nothing is happening beyond the everyday rumble of chaos that is always in the background.  But the second one thing breaks loose – good or bad – everything flies off the handle.  The last trimester or so of my pregnancy was pretty low key, as were the first couple/few months of Flintstones life.  Then we went into an upswing.  You may have noticed that I've been rather busy lately.  Work, family time, insurance claims, massive renovations, and administrative bedlam abound.  As always, I am embracing the disarray with confident knowledge that this too shall pass and before I know it, we will be in a whole new phase of excitement.  Things are FAR from bad, but they certainly are crazy hectic. 
Last week, though, was hard.  I have been wearing thin.  MacGyver is having some health problems and the Docs aren't providing any answers, so I have been worried about him and trying to get him to slow down and take it easy (not something that comes easily to MacGyver; he's very driven).  And Flintstone is popping out teeth like a baby shark.  Tuesday night he had a hard time going to sleep then woke up again at 1, then again at 2, at which point he stayed WIDE awake – not fussy, but really ready to party – until 4:30, and he slept only fitfully after that.  I finally dozed off, conveniently about 10 seconds after my final alarm went off and woke up a half hour later.  I was almost late for work.  Needless to say, I was a little bit cranky pants at work yesterday.
But last night, Flintstone was back to sleeping like a champ.  He slept the whole time I was getting ready for work this morning, too, which is always a blessing, and MacGyver seemed to be feeling pretty good.  He was certainly looking pretty good . . . 
Sorry.  Distracted.
Anyway . . .   When I had to write the date on the forms for dropping Flintstone off, I commented to his super awesome care provider that today is our Miniversary (basically, our dating anniversary) and I hadn't even realized it.  I mean, I have his gift and card waiting in my office, but I didn't realize it this morning.  Oh well, MacGyver didn't say anything about it either.
Then I got to work.  And guess what I found in my bag? 

That little sneak!  He is soooo into surprises, and he always beats me in the romance department, no matter how hard I try.  If you can't tell from the pictures, my first surprise of the day was an assortment of 4 different kinds of cheesecake.  And I'm told there's more to come.  I pointed out to him that we decided to go low-key this year and set a $20 spending limit.  He said that because of the migraines (side effect of the health issues lately), he may have forgotten that.  Scoundrel. 
So today is going to be a good day.  I'm very excited about it.  We already had our Miniversary dinner Monday night because Punky had a thing to go to from 5:30 to 9.  We had some delicious Asian fusion food, then went to our favorite coffee house downtown for dessert, and took a long walk by the waterfront.  I may miss winter, but there are some pluses to living in the South.  The weather was beautiful and downtown here is so pretty.
We'll see what the rest of today has in store, because even in the midst of all the craziness that can present itself in our lives, he is always a bright spot.
I feel the need to recognize just how lucky I am to have MacGyver in my life.  I've commented a million times about what an amazing father he is; how compassionate, loving, witty, and HOT he is.  But there's more to it than that.  It's not just all his amazing qualities, but also how those qualities affect me.
Being with MacGyver makes me a better person and makes our lives better in general.    He is one of the most considerate men you'll ever meet.  He truly pays attention to what I like and how I feel about things.  Sometimes I wonder if he knows me better than I know myself.  He always seems to know exactly what I need – even when what I need isn't pretty.
Because MacGyver is an extremely blunt and honest individual.  To put it plainly, I think it takes a very strong woman to be with MacGyver (I know that sounds braggy, but follow me on this).  MacGyver will never hesitate to tell me when I'm full of crap or to pull me back down to the details when I'm too focused on the big picture.  If you're looking for someone to constantly stroke your ego or who will just play along and do things your way, MacGyver is not your guy.  He has a low tolerance for BS and zero tolerance for narcissism.  He will weigh in whether you ask for his opinion or not.
And I freaking love it.  I find it really comforting to know that I have that check there.  Where other people will tell you what you want to hear while in the back of their minds thinking you're making a fool of yourself or wishing you would change what you're doing, MacGyver will come out and say it.  So I never have to worry that he's not saying what he means, or that I'm doing something dumb without realizing it.  Because I can be a bit flighty.  And I can shockingly be quite a little full of it from time to time.  And I hate feeling like people are just nodding along when I talk.  MacGyver listens, and if I get too lawyery, he calls me on it.
And you know what else?  It makes every compliment, every sweet sentiment a million times more meaningful.  I have always hated dating guys who spew flattery and platitudes.  Even now, if a guy flirts with me and starts blurting out boilerplate compliments, I immediately hop inside my head for a scathing monologue.  I mean, it really is rather insulting.  How shallow do you think I am that you feel the need to suck up to me?  You could at least stop to think for ten seconds before you start blabbering that superficial crap.
But with MacGyver, it's different.  Because his praise is real.  Since I know that he'll tell me if he doesn't like something I'm wearing or if he thinks I'm talking out my a$$, I also know that when he says all the wonderful things he says, he really means them.  This praise is detailed, perfectly fit to me, and honest.  And he's not stingy with the compliments, either.  It seems like every time we talk, I come away feeling more.  I can't really describe it.
If MacGyver doesn't like you, you'll know it in ten seconds flat.  He can pick out your flaws and nail you with them with grave accuracy.  Shallow people don't get along with MacGvyer.  I have at least two friends (not super close, but still friends) who don't like him because he doesn't put up with their BS and he doesn't stroke their egos (or nod along when they are publicly stroking their own).  This trait can make him pretty freaking obnoxious in arguments, and, man, have we had some great ones.  They are extremely few and far between, but damn.  It sucks to argue with someone that blunt who can nail all your flaws.  But it's also amazing.  Because every confrontation is a giant step forward for each of us.  Because nothing simmers in the background, unresolved and ignored.
It is so much better than anything I've had in the past – spineless wimps who just let me have my way (though I did have some very evil fun with those types in my younger years) and the fun, flirtatious, playboys no deeper than a sidewalk puddle.  Ultimately, in my past, I trampled every single guy I dated.  Even Evil Ex before he lost his mind.  But I can't trample MacGyver, and it's the best thing that could have happened to me.
For some people, in some relationships, a dominant personality and a submissive personality fit together perfectly.  But not for me.  I am strong willed and opinionated and can bulldoze over submissive personality types without even realizing it.  I'm so glad to have found someone strong enough to stand up to me, keep up with me, challenge me, and still be there for me when I fall apart.  Which is the real beauty of it.  No one is strong all the time.  And if you're the only strong one in a relationship, who supports you when your strength runs out?  BUT that is a whole other tangent.
MacGyver makes me a better person.  It's not always easy, but it is always, always worth it.
I'm not trying to brag going on about how strong willed MacGyver and I both are.  It's merely a personality type, which, like any other, has its positives and negatives.  In this context, I don't mean strong to be a qualitative measure.  And if you're reading this as some sort of braggy post, you're missing the point.

1 comment:

Karen Peterson said...

You two sound so perfectly matched for each other, it's kind of crazy.

I hope his health issues get straightened out soon!


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