My head feels like it's going to explode. I am in so much pain right now, I can't even look at my computer screen. I can't work, but I have to do somethingor I'm just going to curl up in a ball under my desk and groan - which isn't exactly professional. The lights are off, the blinds are closed. My head hurts so bad it might make me throw up.
You guessed it. I have a migraine.
Showed up at 06 this morning for PT, and got to watch the most beautiful lightning jumping from cloud to cloud all the way in. It was really majestic. We took off on our run, dubbed a "traffic circle run" referring to the point at which we would turn around.
All together, we ran about 4.6 miles, about 2 miles of that was sprints. In between sprints, we did sets of 30 crunches, 30 lunges, 30 squats, 30 V-sits, 20 push ups, one minute front planks, and one minute side planks. We did everything but the side planks twice (for a total of 60 in most cases). All with sprints in between. Then we ran back - 2.3 miles.
Right around the time we started running back, I felt it. A heaviness in my body different from the kind usually brought on by excersize. A prickling in my head. I'm pushing myself too hard, I thought. It's not uncommon for me. Years of programming from the Marine Corps has trained me to push past the pain, too squeeze out every bit of energy and then give a little more. It all sounds very moto, and it's really great for training and in combat, but if you do that crap for 10 years on a regular basis, it starts to wear on you.
For me, it's migraines. I still remember the first one I got. I thought I was having a stroke. I had just gotten out of OCS (Officer Candidate School - think boot camp for officers), and I was very, very sick but I didn't know it because 3 months at OCS had made me accustomed to being in pain all the time. I went running in the East Village, where I had only lived for a couple days. I pushed myself hard. I felt like I was dragging, going slow, so I pushed harder.
Then I went to walk back to my apartment. And I could't read any of the street signs. Peaople's faces looked all distorted. I thought I was having a stroke. If you've ever had a retinal migraine or a blind spot, you'll know what I'm talking about.
A blind spot isn't what you would think if you've never had one. It's not a gaping hole in your feild of vision. Your brain closes up the space you can't see and maches everything together. So the street sign that said Fifth, to me said Fth, but looked totally normal.
Since then, I've learned to recognize blind spots basically by the fact that I suddenly can't read and if I look at my hand, it's all jacked up. I also get flashing lights with them a lot of the time. The blind spots aren't too debilitating. It's what they herald that's the problem. I'll have a blind spot for 30 minutes - 3 hours, then it will go away and 5 minutes - 2 hours later I will be right where I am now. In a black pit of intense pain, wanting to curl up in a ball and moan.
I can't even take my migraine meds because I'm breastfeeding. Really, I don't take drugs often at all since I got pregnant. None during the pregnancy, and I've taken acetominophen maybe 3 times since Flintstone was born. Make that 4, because I definitely just popped one.
I don't get these headaches often - THANK HEAVENS - otherwise I would never get anything done. But when I do, they're aweful. And I have SOOO much to do today. Grrr . . .
MacGyver tells me all the time I have to stop pushing myself too hard. You'd think I'd start listening to him.
I promise a less whiny post when this passes.
Introducing Power Play by Beth McMullen
2 weeks ago