Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Someone Like You

      So Adele is all the rage these days, no?  (Yes, I said all the rage.  What?  I'm old.  And a dork.  You already knew that.)  And I'm totally on board.  I love Rolling in the Deep.  Her voice is beautiful and powerful and her lyrics - for the most part - are moving.  For the most part.

      But her newer song, Someone Like You, has been getting on my nerves lately.  I mean, I still enjoy listening to it, but every time the song gets to a certain point, my hackles go up a little.

"I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited,
but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I hoped you'd see my face, and that you'd be reminded
That for me, it isn't over."

      Ok, I get it.  It's all poignant and whatnot.  She's still in love.  She hurts.


      I picture this person standing on some unsuspecting former lover's doorstep one evening, confronting them.  Baring their own unresolved feelings and burdening this other person with - expectation.  As if this former lover is somehow responsible for the singer's feelings and inability to let go and move on.  And all I can think is . . .

      "Who the hell do you think you are?"

      One of my exes.  That's who.  Off the top of my head, I've had at least three of my exes suddenly reappear in my life - out of the blue, uninvited - and seem to expect something from me.  Like I'm going to feel guilty for having moved on, for being happy.  OR like I'm going to turn around and just give it another shot - hoped you'd see my face, and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over.  Well screw you.  For ME it is over.  Get the hell off my porch.

      Ok, so of course I was never that harsh with them.  Though maybe I should have been.  I lent the sympathetic ear to how hard things have been.  I have gracefully turned a cheek to attempted kisses and deftly dodged ill conceived passes. 

      But every time I hear that song, it annoys me.  The nerve of some freaking people.  I'm sorry you got your heart broken and your life sucks and you somehow think that is my fault.  I'm rather flattered that you think I'm that significant a person to have actually wrecked your life by refusing to put up with your BS anymore.  But, let's face it, I'm NOT that significant and you're just looking for a scapegoat.  So how about you save us both the awkwardness and you save yourself the embarrassment - not to mention the pain of another rejection, and you leave me the heck alone if you can't behave like a civilized, PLUTONIC acquaintance.

      So if you're reading this and you're still hung up on one of your exes - ESPECIALLY if that person has clearly moved on, take my advice:  Don't listen to the messages of ridiculous romantic comedies.  People don't call off their wedding 10 minutes before the ceremony to get back with someone they dumped 3 years ago.  Move the frig on.  And for eff's sake DON'T show up at their home or place of work uninvited and act like they owe you something.

      I know that I am not alone in having this experience, so let's hear it:  Have you ever been accosted by an ex who still had feelings for you?  Have you ever been the guilty party and created this awkward moment?

      A couple of caveats:
      -  Yes, MacGyver was at one point in time my ex, and yes we got back together, but it was NOT planned out that way.  We started talking again as friends.  There was no awkward "I'm still in love with you" or "I bet you didn't think you'd be hearing from me . . ." moment.  We talked, exchanged emails, and eventually decided maybe since we had both I had grown up a little, it was worth another shot.  So there.  Not quite as hypocritical as I look.

      -  This is the second post I've recently written about songs on the radio.  In my last post, where I was b*tching about how old some music made me feel, I talked about the phrase "pumped up kicks," and I'd like to clarify something:  I KNOW what pumped up kicks ARE.  I'm not that old!  Frig.  I just don't understand why the person singing wants to shoot people on the basis of wearing said kicks.


Kate said...

Oh God! I so agree! I have both a crazy ex and people around me that need to move on. Drives me crazy!

MiMi said...

I was going to say, that is TOTALLY a hot button for your ex!

Diandra said...

"You are responsible for always for those you have tamed" - that's (my translation of a sentence) from "Le petit prince", and I never liked it.

I had a boyfriend. He broke up with me at a time when I was in real emotional trouble (and told me via a friend). I got through everything myself, and a few weeks later we met again, and decided to give it a second shot. I then threw him out of my flat when he told me I needed an exorcism and would afterwards be borrowed to his spiritual leader. (He seemed surprised that I wasn't thrilled at the idea.) And then, a few weeks later, he showed up and told me he missed me, and that he had not found a single woman who could cook or massage as good as I did. It was as if I was somehow "his" to put away or take out of the box whenever he wanted. I told him to leave, and take out the trash on the way down.

(And that night I had the second date with the BF, and cooked for him, and kissed him, and decided he was a keeper. *lol*)


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