Someone Like You

      So Adele is all the rage these days, no?  (Yes, I said all the rage.  What?  I'm old.  And a dork.  You already knew that.)  And I'm totally on board.  I love Rolling in the Deep.  Her voice is beautiful and powerful and her lyrics - for the most part - are moving.  For the most part.

      But her newer song, Someone Like You, has been getting on my nerves lately.  I mean, I still enjoy listening to it, but every time the song gets to a certain point, my hackles go up a little.

"I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited,

but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I hoped you'd see my face, and that you'd be reminded

That for me, it isn't over."

      Ok, I get it.  It's all poignant and whatnot.  She's still in love.  She hurts.

      Whatever.

      I picture this person standing on some unsuspecting former lover's doorstep one evening, confronting them.  Baring their own unresolved feelings and burdening this other person with - expectation.  As if this former lover is somehow responsible for the singer's feelings and inability to let go and move on.  And all I can think is . . .

      "Who the hell do you think you are?"

      One of my exes.  That's who.  Off the top of my head, I've had at least three of my exes suddenly reappear in my life - out of the blue, uninvited - and seem to expect something from me.  Like I'm going to feel guilty for having moved on, for being happy.  OR like I'm going to turn around and just give it another shot - hoped you'd see my face, and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over.  Well screw you.  For ME it is over.  Get the hell off my porch.

      Ok, so of course I was never that harsh with them.  Though maybe I should have been.  I lent the sympathetic ear to how hard things have been.  I have gracefully turned a cheek to attempted kisses and deftly dodged ill conceived passes. 

      But every time I hear that song, it annoys me.  The nerve of some freaking people.  I'm sorry you got your heart broken and your life sucks and you somehow think that is my fault.  I'm rather flattered that you think I'm that significant a person to have actually wrecked your life by refusing to put up with your BS anymore.  But, let's face it, I'm NOT that significant and you're just looking for a scapegoat.  So how about you save us both the awkwardness and you save yourself the embarrassment - not to mention the pain of another rejection, and you leave me the heck alone if you can't behave like a civilized, PLUTONIC acquaintance.

      So if you're reading this and you're still hung up on one of your exes - ESPECIALLY if that person has clearly moved on, take my advice:  Don't listen to the messages of ridiculous romantic comedies.  People don't call off their wedding 10 minutes before the ceremony to get back with someone they dumped 3 years ago.  Move the frig on.  And for eff's sake DON'T show up at their home or place of work uninvited and act like they owe you something.

      I know that I am not alone in having this experience, so let's hear it:  Have you ever been accosted by an ex who still had feelings for you?  Have you ever been the guilty party and created this awkward moment?

      A couple of caveats:
      -  Yes, MacGyver was at one point in time my ex, and yes we got back together, but it was NOT planned out that way.  We started talking again as friends.  There was no awkward "I'm still in love with you" or "I bet you didn't think you'd be hearing from me . . ." moment.  We talked, exchanged emails, and eventually decided maybe since we had both I had grown up a little, it was worth another shot.  So there.  Not quite as hypocritical as I look.

      -  This is the second post I've recently written about songs on the radio.  In my last post, where I was b*tching about how old some music made me feel, I talked about the phrase "pumped up kicks," and I'd like to clarify something:  I KNOW what pumped up kicks ARE.  I'm not that old!  Frig.  I just don't understand why the person singing wants to shoot people on the basis of wearing said kicks.

"Turn That Trash Down!"

      Sometimes, I think my taste in music kinda dates me.  I listen to a lot of classic rock - Meatloaf, Bon Jovi, REO Speedwagon, and Blue Oyster Cult rock my socks, just to name a few.  At work, I mostly listen to classical music on NPR (though I do occasionally change it up with my YouTube playlists).  At dinner, we listen to classical, smooth jazz, blues, or new-age-y soothing nature sounds classical stuff.

      Based on that, my taste in music seems to scream "Old Person."  But I'd like to think my taste hasn't totally passed over into that realm just yet.  Because I do still love current music - rock, punk, some alternative, and, yes, Top 40 Pop.

      I love Top 40 Pop, and that's usually what I listen to on my short commute.  And while my age hasn't yet wiped out my taste for this stuff, it has definitely had an effect on my thought processes listening to it.  Just a couple of examples:

      If I Die Young by The Band Perry - I really liked this song the first time I heard it.  The voice, the melody, the whole package - it's a very pretty song to listen to, and very catchy.  Which is probably why it became so popular.  The problem is, after hearing it just a couple times I knew all the words to the song and one verse started to haunt me: 

"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby"

      The first time I caught that verse, it kind of gave me the shivers.  The next time, it almost brought me to tears.  Just copying it here threatened to choke me up.  And you know why?  Because I'm a mom.  The thought of burying either of my babies is the most horrifying proposition in the world to me.  That very last line is like all my worst fears rolled up into 8 words.  And it made me instantly hate the song.

      But I couldn't escape it.  The damn song is on ALL THE TIME.  At one point, it came on so I flipped the station, and it was also on the next station, so I flipped again, and IT WAS ON THAT STATION TOO!  Then it would get stuck in my head.  Eventually, falling asleep with the song in my head even gave me absolutely aweful nightmares.  (As I've mentioned in passing before, I have been diagnosed with "obsessive thoughts" when it comes to anxieties about my kids' safety).

     And 10 years ago, I never would have had this sort of reaction to this song.  But now, I'm a mom.  And maybe that means I'm a little old and silly pop songs can make me cry.  Deal.

      E.T. - by Katy Perry w/ Kanye West - I love this song.  I makes me smile every single time it comes on.  Probably partially based on my unnatural affinity for anything remotely X-Files related, and also because the song just all around amuses me.  But I can tell I'm old because I am straight up ASHAMED that I love this song.  It is an awful song.  It's perverse and weird and dirty and weird.  So I was relagated to loving the song in secret, because seriously - I can't believe the crap they'll put on the radio these days:

"Infect me with your love and

Fill me with your Poison."

Just WRONG!

      But the last straw may have come last week.  There was a new song out that I really enjoyed, but I couldn't quite make out the words.  I even told MacGvyer one day when it was on, "I really like this song, but I wish I could make out the lyrics.  It's no fun if I can't sing along (which may be yet another sign I'm getting too old for Top 40 Pop)."

     I heard it a few more times and continued to like it.  I could peice together some lines, but the main parts of the chorus remained a mystery to me.

      Until I caught the title of the song (which also happened to be the words I couldn't make out) from a DJ:

      Pumped up Kicks - by Foster the People.

     

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet"

      Oh my effing bob, seriously?  I CAN'T say that out loud.  What the eff does that even mean?  Pumped up kicks?  Really?

      Crap.

      I think I'm too old for this . . .

Want to Know Wednesdays: Musical Memories

Today is Thursday.  You'll deal.

{1} What is the best or worst pick up line you have ever been given?
I feel like I should have a great answer for this.  I have had some a lot of frigging hilarious dating fiascos, but I don’t really remember any particularly crazy pick up lines.  I have had my a$$ compared to that of a black woman in what I can only assume was meant to be a favorable manner.  I’ve had a guy tell me after a very short conversation that I was the kind of girl he could see himself marrying (gag). Really?  Because you’re the kind of guy I can see myself rejecting . . .  MacGyver’s “pick up like” was pretty good.  He was changing the oil on my 1976 Mustang Cobra 302 and gave me a list of supplies I would need.  That last one on the list was “Date, dinner and a movie.”  I think I still have that list around somewhere . . .{2} What is your most and least favorite day of the week?
Obviously, it depends on the particular week, but generally Saturdays are the best.  The worst day is a tough call.  Maybe Tuesday.  I’m generally really productive and fine on Mondays.  Tuesday that energy is all used up but the weekend is still soooo far away.{3} How many hours of sleep do you require each night?
I REQUIRE 9 hours.  I usually get 4 – 5.  I was recently informed by one of my doctors who specialized in sleep that I am living at on an unsustainable sleep deficit.  Like that’s supposed to shock me.  Now if you could just convince my bosses that I need to come in to work 2 hours later every day, maybe we could remedy that.

{4} Is there a song that takes you back in time? What song is it; what's the memory attached?
Soooo many songs take me back in time.  Many Jimmy Buffett songs, a couple Meatloaf songs, and a couple Little Feat songs take me right back to childhood.  The Now and Then and Friends soundtracks instantly take me back to my early teen/adolescent years.  We Like to Party by the Venga Boys always reminds me of driving around with my boyfriend Sophomore year.  Man, I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain reminds me of dumping him (which, oddly enough is a very positive memory for me – most of my break-ups are, I’m an evil, cruel female).

Fishin in the Dark reminds me of Prom my Sophomore year.  Breathe by Faith Hill reminds me of Prom my Junior year (a prom to which I took 2 dates because I’m a playa like that).

A few Nelly and Eminem songs bring me right back to the last couple years of high school.  User Friendly by Marilyn Manson and People are Still Having Sex by LaTour – among others – always remind me of cruising around in my yellow ’73 VW Bug.

There are club songs that take me right back to college like Percolator and Booty Call.  And, of course, there are about 65 different songs that remind me of different points in MacGyver and my relationship.

And that’s just off the top of my head.  I have a ton of music related memories.{5} What is your biggest guilty pleasure?
Probably this right here: playing on the internets.  That, and any junk food I happen to eat here or there.

But bear in mind that I have plenty of vices about which I bear no guilt . . .  ;-)

Happy Holidays

From Cheap Wine and Cookies

I haven't really taken any holiday pictures on my phone, but this one captures a pretty large part of it. This whole trying to cut way back on caffiene and alcohol just in case we do happen to conceive is kindof a pain during the holidays! It'd be a lot easier if I actually knew I was pregnant, but I really doubt I am. I figure it will take my body a couple months to be ready. At the same time, though, I don't want to have any really crazy nights out only to find out a couple weeks later that I am.

But aside from my little struggles with coffe and wine, ha, the holidays so far have been AMAZING. I can't even express it. Relaxing, hanging out with family and friends. Finding out that my brother is in a serious relationship with one of my best friends! And working very hard at this making a baby thing. :-D

ha, we're listening to "There's Only One Way to Rock" by AC/DC? or maybe Motley Crew? Either way, the song is on the radio, and Punky looks at her Uncle Boo [my brother] and says, "You know, there's not necessarily only one way to rock." lol. That kid has been full of them this whole trip.

Anyway, our holidays so far have beed just awesome, and I am truely hoping that all my friends out there are having just as wonderful a time. I can't wait to upload pictures, but, alas, there is very little internet access around these parts.

I could go on and on, but I think I'll wait until I upload the pictures. For right now, there is more fun to be had. After all, it's Saturday night And I don't have to work for a week!