Framed Words

Jumping in again with Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn For Talk To Us Tuesday because it has NO RULES!  And that's about the only thing I can committ to these days.

 

     Man, oh man, what a week!  And it's only Tuesday!  The other lawyer is out of the office for the whole week, and I was already behind at the beginning of the week, so things have been crazy to say the least.  And I'm drowning myself in teas and herbal remedies trying to fight off this sneaky little cold since being sick just isn't an option this week.  Yesterday I tried to run it out of myself, which seemed to help so we'll see.

      MacGyver's been super busy, too.  Contemplating a new career and juggling a million balls in the air.  I have no idea how that man does it.  He's also working on and heading up committees for the church left and right, and battling the insurance company, and performing routine vehicle maintnance because heaven knows I'm not about to do it.  He lead the most beautiful Ostara ritual on Sunday.  I can't wait to upload the pictures, if our friend who took them ever sends them to me.

      And even in the midst of all the swirling chaos of our lives, it's still important for us to find time for each other, to remind each other that we're still in this together and that we're still completely in love.  I've mentioned before that we have a journal that we've passed back and forth to record our feelings to each other since way back when we were in a long distance relationship.  Well, needless to say, neither of us has a whole lot of time for epic romance sonnets these days.  So we also have this:

      It's just a sheet of (recycled) notebook paper in a cheap frame.  We keep it in our master bathroom and use it to write little love notes back and forth to each other nearly every day.  You can also fancy it up with scrapbook paper, but I went the tree saving root with a little less dye.  You can also just write on the mirror in dry erase marker, but I always feel guilty erasing MacGyver's beautiful words when I need to do my hair.

      What little gestures to you share with your loved ones?

     Finally, on a totally unrelated note:

Happy Ostara/Equinox!

Won't you balance some eggs with us?

Miniversary

      Five years ago, more than three years after our first date, MacGyver unilaterally declared that I was "his girl."  After years of back-and-forth, flip-flopping commitment phobia (on my part), he "put his foot down," so to speak.  We were "official." 

       So today is our Miniversary.  Unless the sitter falls through, we'll be going out tomorrow night to celebrate with some really good wine and some live jazz.  Other than that, we're not doing a whole lot.  We've been so busy lately, low key seems like the best bet.

       This was supposed to be a longer post, but it took me so long to figure out what year we first became official, that I'm running out of time.  I can't believe it's only been 5 years since that trip!  It seems like so much longer.  Then again, it's also hard to believe our first date was 8 years ago, too.  That sounds like ancient history.  It feels like I've always been with MacGyver, but at the same time it doesn't seem like it was all that long ago that I was relationship hopping and making boys cry like it was my job.

        If you're feeling let down that this post isn't full of flowery gush or fun filled details, you can check out what we've done for Miniversaries past - including our super awesome Boston trip in 2010.  Or you can delve into the conveluted path of how MacGyver and I ended up together.  For now, though, I have to go.  I have tons to get done today before I head home for a very special "lunch" with my MacGyver.

      Happy Friday All!

Back Up Off my Happily Ever After

      This will be the last you hear of this, hopefully forever, at least for now.  If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, be thankful and please move on to the next post, which is much more entertaining.

      I've got a bit of a storybook thing going on in my life - family, career, the whole 9.  I have an amazing husband who is the best friend, partner, and lover I could ask for.  I have a smart, charming, extremely well mannered little girl and the MOST adorable and happy baby boy you will ever, ever see.  We have 2 dogs, a cat, and some fish.  We have 5 chickens for eggs and an organic garden.  We compost most of our kitchen waste.  We recycle.  I am at the very beginning of what promises to be an exciting and extremely fulfilling career that enables me to provide a good living for my family while helping make a difference.

      Even though I work a lot of hours, I still manage to cook very nutritious dinners for my family most every night.  My husband and I still have an excellent love life.  I have amazing friends all over the world and get along well with my extended family.

      It is, for all appearances, perfect.

      Of course, that's just appearances.  Nothing is perfect.  I am constantly plagued with guilt over trying to juggle work and family duties.  I put off clearing away all the clutter on the countertops much longer than I should and I can't even remember when I last washed the windows.

      I've always been very open about the fact that MacGvyer and I are not one of those couples who "never fight."  We're both very bullheaded passionate people, and, like most of the population, we both have our own issues that we've been working through.  We don't scream in each other's faces, and I have never thrown anything at my husband, but we do disagree from time to time.  We even argue once in a while - and I'm glad we do.

      Because we come out of every disagreement understanding each other better and moving forward in our relationship.  We recognize that we are both flawed individuals and we are working together to make ourselves better - something I look forward to working on for the rest of my life.  I will never stop and just coast along - and I really doubt MacGyver ever would, either.

      Then there are the always recurring issues with BioB*&^%.

      And trying to decide what to do next in my career as well as MacGvyer's.

      Minor, everyday struggles and larger more lifechanging ones are constants in our lives.

      No, my life is not perfect.  My life is just that:  Life.  I live my life as well as I can, and so does MacGyver.  I work hard to be a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, lawyer, Marine, PERSON.  And a lot of the time, I feel like I succeed in those things.  Sometimes I fail, too.

      But do I run to my blog to kvetch, vent, and whine about every failure, every gripe, every disagreement?  Obviously not.  Because it's annoying.  Who the hell wants to read a blog full of nothing but complaints?  You know what?  I'm tired all the time.  At least once or twice a month I feel like I'm under so much pressure from so many directions that I am just going to crumble into a pile of debris and dust. 

      But I prefer to focus on the positive.  Sure I vent on my blog once in a while, but by and large I am of the opinion that I could have things so much worse and I need to remember that.  So I blog about the good things.  I blog about the happy things and the moments of my life that cause me to overflow with joy.  I like to blog about causes that move me, my kids' triumphs, and the neverending parade of little suprises and gestures of love MacGyver is always plying me with.

      Apparently, some people don't like that.  Apparently, some people just CAN'T STAND the fact that MacGyver and I are as happy as we are.  That our issues aren't debilitating or devistating - at least not for us.  Apparently, some people are so damned unhappy with their own lives and their own miserable failures that they want nothing more in the WORLD than to see MacGyver and I fail.

      Apparently some people feel the need to Google MacGyver and I obsessively.  To insert themselves into our lives uninvited and unnecessarily.  There are people out there who actually care THAT MUCH about our lives.  Not family members.  Not even friends.  These are people who have no real or good reason to concern themselves with us at all, let alone maliciously.

     At first, I was annoyed.  Then I was pissed.  But when I really think about it, it's just sad.  How pathetic must one's life be to obsess that much about someone else's?  How insecure must a person be that they feel a compulsive need to try to create drama and spread lies about me?  How unsatisfying and sad must someone's life be if they are devoting their time to this crap?

      I know who you are.  Just because you lie about your marriage (and trust me, I know you lie), doesn't mean I'm lying about mine.

      It's pathetic, and it's sad.  But, alas, there isn't much I can do about it.

      I considered letting go of the blog.  I considered moving it.  I don't want to do either of those things.  I recognize that by having the blog, I'm putting myself and a portion of our life out there.  For now, I'm not ready to give up the friendships I have built just to avoid the sad little antics of tiny, insecure, shallow people who are trying to take their failures out on me.

      So I'm just going to sit back and watch.  Because what you put out into the world WILL come back to you.

     In the meantime, my life is better than ever.  Happy, adorable kids.  Happy home.  And a marriage that becomes stronger, closer, and happier every day.

Where Have You Been?

      Just when you think things might calm down . . .  Ha.  Actually, things have calmed down, and that's part of the problem.  At least, it's a problem for this here blog.  I'm getting boatloads of stuff done at work and am much less frusterated than I have been for a while, so I'm all tied up in my real life and it's completely distracting me from my online meddlings.  ;-)

      But I do so miss you all!

      Our anniversary weekend was awesome.  We did some touristy stuff with Boo Satruday.  Flintstone had a blast playing in this fountain.

Up water, Up!

     Have I mentioned yet that Flintstone is walking?  I think I have, but it continues to amaze me.  During his 8th month he was able to take a few steps at a time, but he didn't really care to.  Then, on our Michigan trip when he was 10 1/2 months he walked accross the room one of the first days we were there, and he hasn't stopped walking since.  It is amazing and freaking adorable.  Especially when you say "I'm gonna get you!"  And he takes off running.

      The kid is into everything these days.  And he's climbing.  And he makes an angry face now when we tell him he can't have something.  It's the cutest angry face ever, and I have trouble not laughing when he does it.

      Anyway, we had a fun day out Saturday, then Saturday night, MacGyver and I went to an amazing wine tasting.  I can't even count how many different wines we tried.  The selection was huge.  And some of the cheese pairings were amazing.  We also got a big tappas plate that included the best bruchetta I think I've ever had.  I had the owner hide MacGyver's gift in among the tappas:

      MacGyver has wanted this ring for a long time.  It is so perfectly him.  He hasn't stopped playing with it since the moment he found it under the crackers.

      It was so nice to be out and just talk about random fun things.  For instance MacGyver's new fanasy of opening up an ethical winery/bakery and calling it Cheap Wine and Cookies.  How cute is that?

      We followed up our hours at the winery with an amazing Thai dinner.

      And I almost forgot to mention walking the Labrinth!  In the morning, we went to our UU church to walk the meditation labyrinth put together by the Pagans and the Buddhists in our congregation.  It was a beautiful and meditative experience.  Flintstone slept in my arms the whole time.  There's an adorable picture of it, but of course I can't find it right now!

      There was so much more that went on this weekend.  MacGyver and I played games, hiding little gifts for each other all over the house and whatnot.  I can't remember it all.  We'll just say it was a really good weekend.  And now, I'm back and work and on duty again (read: 33 hour shift AND I have court tomorrow).  Erg.  But things are great, and I really have nothing to complain about.  Hope you're all having a lovely week.

      Also, I just found out that today is Snarky Paralegal's birthday!  That little sneak.  She tried to get away with not telling anybody.  Well!  I'll show her.  ;-)

      Finally, I'll leave you with a couple of new videos I just recently found from our wedding day:

The whole day before our wedding it was bright, sunny, and downright PERFECT out.  Then, right as I was getting ready to walk out for the ceremony, it started to rain.  Hard:



That comment from Boo at the end is "The beer's ok, right?!?"

This isn't exactly what I had pictured as my grand entrance as the bride at my wedding, nor is it what we had rehearsed the day before:



Two of my mom's best friends are teachers.  It is one of them who made me spit out my gum at the end of this one.  :-D

Happy Wednesday All!

The One: Q&A

Do you have a good Love/Marriage/Relationship meme tucked away somewhere?  Please send it to me!  I freaking love memes, and it's been too long since I've done any.  In honor of the impedning anniversary, I give you the "The One" meme:

What do you call your spouse?

MacGyver, Honey, a couple other horrifyingly cutesy things that there is no way in Hell I’m putting on the internet.

What first attracted you to them?

Um, he’s hot.  There was no one particular characteristic.  MacGyver is just all around, overall good looking. 

How did you know he was the one?

He is the only guy to have ever beat me at my own games.  It sounds silly, but really – I couldn’t just walk away.  And after we spent some time apart then got back together, it just fit.

What’s something you learned about him after you were married that surprised you?

I left this one till last because I didn't have an answer, and I still don't.  I know things about him surprised me when we got married, but I really can't think of any of them.  I suppose I can honestly say I was surprised that he stayed just as romantic as he was when we were dating - little surprises, notes, gestures, etc.  He still cleans my car for me every time he uses it.

What do you argue about the most?

Hmmm . . . It’s hard to say.  I’m not one of those “we never fight” wives, but for the most part our arguments lead to growth and resolution.  I guess maybe conflicts with time are probably at the root of a lot of our stress.

What quality in him do you admire most?

It is so hard to pick just one.  He’s so smart, considerate, and ingenuitive (which I deem to be a real word because it is one of my favorite MacGvyer descriptors).  He’s an amazing father – caring, utterly devoted, yet firm.  But I suppose if I had to pick one thing, I’d have to say his ability to do things without any concern for embarrassment.  MacGvyer could give a rip less what anyone thinks of him or us.  He lives his life without a moment’s hesitation to worry about what other people might think.

Sometimes, it makes my skin crawl because, in my job, I have to pay attention to what other people think.  Sometimes it stresses me out.  But really, that’s all on me and I sort of envy MacGvyer’s ability there.

What is the hardest part about being married?

All of it and none of it.  I don’t know.  In the beginning, I had a very hard time adjusting.  I had lived by myself for a long time and literally went from living carefree and alone to being a family overnight.  I went from coming home to a quiet, relaxed place that was ALL MINE, to coming home to chaos and the needs of others.  It was rough.  It’s still rough sometimes now when I run 5 miles and work out at 6 am then spend all day battling work that comes in faster than I could ever process it, and I get home and want nothing more than to sit in silence with tea and a book and maybe a dog, but what I get is excited chatter, and barking, and people pawing at my boobs (take that however you want, ha), and I have to make dinner, and there’s homework, and everything else.  Sometimes it feels like too much and I longingly remember my quiet, clean, all mine apartment.  But it really only takes a millisecond to recognize that I love and need every single piece of that chaos I come home to.

What’s the best part about being married?

That’s even harder than the last question!  It’s all the best.  My roommate is my best friend.  And I can have s*x with him pretty much whenever either of us wants!  (Yeah, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m being honest – that’s a big perk!).  And we get to build this awesome life together.  And I always have a partner for my adventures who knows me even better than I know me!

Who said I love you first?

MacGyver did.  We had both been being super stubborn and holding out.  Neither of us was going to go first.  Finally, we were out at a bar I loved; my ex was literally crying over me in the corner, and MacGvyer and I were dancing to Prince and he said, “You win.  I love you.”

I always win ;-)

Who drives most when you are together?

It depends on who’s vehicle we’re in and where we’re going.  I still have some low grade PTSD from an accident we were in before we got married and I hate driving with other people in the car if I have to go over 45 mph.  I CAN do it, and I have many times like on long trips when MacGyver needed a break, but I really, really hate it.

Who pays the bills?

For a long time, it’s been MacGyver, but lately we’ve been rotating.
Who is the first to admit they are wrong?
Um, obviously that depends on who was wrong.

Who wears the pants?
I don’t like this question.  For starters, THIS (if you haven’t read my rant about people’s perceptions of MacGvyer and me since I work and he’s in school, you totally should.  Go now.  I mean it.).

Anyway, Um in our relationship there are no pants.  That’s what she said.  Or we share them.  We like to get into each other’s pants.  MAN my mind is in the gutter today.  We are two responsible adults.  We discuss things with each other.  We make decisions together.  Seriously.

What do you like to do together?
*ahem*  *cough*  Practicing great restraint here.  Umm . . .  We love family outings – amusement parks, parks, the beach, hiking.  We love just hanging out and talking to each other.  We love to travel and discover new things together.  We sit together, either at home or at book stores, and read books and magazines and discuss the interesting things we find out.

Wine Tastings.

How did you meet?
We worked together at Applebee’s while we were both going to Purdue.

Who asked whom out first?
He asked me, by way of my car.  It’s a really cute story.
.
Who kissed first?
He kissed me.  Details of that can also be found in aforementioned cute story.

Who proposed?
He did.

He's sitting in front of the tv, what is on the screen?
MacGyver is rarely sitting in front of the TV – especially by himself.  If he’s in front of the TV, we’re either watching a family movie or he and I are watching something together.  He will occasionally watch a documentary about something tech/engineering related or alternative fuels.  He loves to try to make me watch horror movies.  When he gets to pick shows for us to watch together, lately he’s been into Weeds.

You go out to the bar, what does he order?
Blue Moon or Shock Top on tap, Rum and coke, or Electric Lemonade

If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Tools and projects!  He is always building or designing something.  We cannot throw away anything that breaks, and we have a large stockpile of things “to be improved upon.”  Sometimes it drives me nuts,  (Seriously, can’t I please just go buy a shoe rack), but the stuff he makes is super awesome, so it’s totally worth it.

What would this person eat every day if he could?
MacGyver hates eating the same thing repeatedly.  It could be his favorite thing in the world (like humane, grass fed BBQ ribs or pulled pork), but if he ate it the day before – or sometimes even the week before – he doesn’t want it.  Let me tell you it can make putting together the weekly meal plan something of a chore.  I have to be very creative with leftovers.  And if I’m planning to take him out for a special dinner, I have to be super careful about what I “let” him eat the few days before.  It sounds annoying, but it’s just part of what makes him him and just thinking about it makes me smile.

What is his favorite cereal?
I don’t think he’d call it his “favorite,” but he always needs to have a box of Grape Nuts in the house.  ICK!  It’s like eating cardboard rocks.  I don’t get it.  I also think it has a stupid name.  But we always have a box in the house.

What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
“Everything,” as in I try to do everything myself.  It never occurs to me to ask for help, and it annoys the pants off MacGyver.

Who does the laundry?
We both do it, but he does it more.  Except the diapers.  I’m usually the one to wash the diapers.  And we fold everything together most of the time.  I hate folding.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

We don’t really have sides of the bed.  It all depends on what is on a given side of the bed.  If we stay in a hotel or something, I sleep in the side closest to Flintstone and the bathroom.  And I really, really don’t have a side of the bed.  If MacGyver isn’t in the bed, I end up in the dead middle.  Hell, I do that even when he IS in the bed ;-)

* * *
I don't tag people in memes, but if you want to join in, I love reading them!  Drop a comment and let me know if you join in the fun!

Countdown to 3

      August 23rd, one week from yesterday, is MacGyver and my 3 year wedding anniversary.  My intention had been to do a whole week of "MacGyver and Me" or relationship related posts.  The only problem with this plan is that I'm on Grass Week for the Range AGAIN, so I may not have much time to post at all.

      Nevertheless, I'm excited about our anniversary.  I doubt we'll do much on the actual day of, since it falls on a Teusday - a Teusday on which I am on the range AND conducting and Article 32 hearing in the afternoon.  So I'm going to be BEAT at the end of that day.  I'm not sure what we're doing that weekend, but I know it will be something good - especially since we have Boo staying with us, so we don't have to worry about leaving the kidders!  I'm pretty sure whatever it is, it will involve wine.

      The "traditional" 3rd anniversary gift is leather.  If you haven't picked it up yet from my Ethical Eating posts, I'm not a huge fan of leather.  (I miss it, though.  I used to love leather, and let me tell you I can really pull off some leather pants).  But I am confident that MacGvyer will be pleased with his gift - so long as it fits.  They don't make them in exactly his size . . .

      Today, the anniversary still feels worlds away.  Like I said, we don't even know exactly what we're doing that weekend.  So I think I'll kick off this "Anniversary Countdown" with a little stroll down memory lane:

      MacGyver and I both waited tables while attending Purdue.  That's where we met.  It was somewhere around 2003/04 (you'd think I'd remember exactly, but honestly I'd have to check my old diaries).  We were a couple for a little while then we were just *ahem* good friends *ahem* for a year or so . . .  You can find more details, including the first kiss, here.

      We lost touch for a while when I moved away for Law School, but started talking again in '06.  Talking quickly turned into planning, which led to visiting, and before we knew it, we were in a whirlwind long-distance relationship.  (More details)

      We moved in together in Brooklyn the summer of 2007.

      He proposed 7 months later, March of '08.

      We got married in a torrential downpour 5 months after he proposed, on August 23rd 2008.

It had been sunny all day.

Until the moment the Ceremony was supposed to start.

They say rain on your wedding day is good luck.
We must be pretty danged lucky.

They say a wet knot is harder to untie.

"I am NOT coming out there."

      That first year, the whirlwind really began:  I took the NY Bar exam.  I went on Active Duty.  We moved to VA.  I worked as in Civil Law then in Trial (as a prosecutor).  We bought a house.  I started TBS.  LOTS of stuff. 

      For our First Anniversary, I we went to a wine tasting and I wrote him a poem. Gag.  And I couldn't resist putting the dress back on.

      Year two was just as crazy, if not more so.  TBS was just an aweful hell debacle, but I finished.  Got promoted to Captain (in the field, moto).  Was taken on a Surprise trip!  I got pregnant, and we moved 3 times.

      On our Second Anniversary I waxed poetic about deeply knowing another person.  Gag.  And our midwife dropped off the birth pool.  I was full term.
     
      This year, we haven't moved a single time.  Punky, who attended three 1st grades in one year and 2 second grades the next, didn't have to change schools a single time this year.  However, life was completely different.

      MacGyer is still the best husband ever.  He still surprises me often with wonderful romantic gestures.  We're even more in love than we were years ago.  If you're really intersted in the romantic progression of our life over the last few years, I suggest clicking here.

      Be ready for all sorts of gag worthy moments in the week to come.

My Office Smells Awesome!

This is just an update to the post before it, Bull-Headed Bulldozers and Cheesecake.  Pretty please read that one first since it's the real post.  This is just the pocket part.  Or, if you're not a law type, its a sidecar. 

MacGyver and I had lunch together at a little place near my work.  His idea.  He called me when he was close, and I walked over to meet him, but then it took 10 minutes forever for him to show up.  No biggie.  He said he was stuck behind a big truck that appeared to be lost.  Not unusual on this base.  So we had a pleasant lunch, and I came back to my office. 

Turns out HE LIED about the reason he was delayed getting to lunch.  My office smells so pretty right now thanks to the three beautiful boquets he snuck in.  He really is just the coolest husband ever.

He also brought in my new RC tank that shoots plastic BBs.  Which drastically decreased the productivity of a few of my co-workers and one of my bosses for a little while. 

As Mama's Thyme would say, "I got the spoileds." :-D

And that only covers up to lunch time . . .

PS:  Man, you all have written some AWESOME posts today.  I am going to do my best to shoot some well deserved comments your way tonight, because, wow.  It's been a fruitful day in the blogsphere!

Bull-Headed Bulldozers and Cheesecake

(The picture of us was taken not too long after the establishment of the miniversary.)

My life is like a sine wave.  When nothing is going on then, seriously nothing is happening beyond the everyday rumble of chaos that is always in the background.  But the second one thing breaks loose – good or bad – everything flies off the handle.  The last trimester or so of my pregnancy was pretty low key, as were the first couple/few months of Flintstones life.  Then we went into an upswing.  You may have noticed that I've been rather busy lately.  Work, family time, insurance claims, massive renovations, and administrative bedlam abound.  As always, I am embracing the disarray with confident knowledge that this too shall pass and before I know it, we will be in a whole new phase of excitement.  Things are FAR from bad, but they certainly are crazy hectic. 

Last week, though, was hard.  I have been wearing thin.  MacGyver is having some health problems and the Docs aren't providing any answers, so I have been worried about him and trying to get him to slow down and take it easy (not something that comes easily to MacGyver; he's very driven).  And Flintstone is popping out teeth like a baby shark.  Tuesday night he had a hard time going to sleep then woke up again at 1, then again at 2, at which point he stayed WIDE awake – not fussy, but really ready to party – until 4:30, and he slept only fitfully after that.  I finally dozed off, conveniently about 10 seconds after my final alarm went off and woke up a half hour later.  I was almost late for work.  Needless to say, I was a little bit cranky pants at work yesterday.

But last night, Flintstone was back to sleeping like a champ.  He slept the whole time I was getting ready for work this morning, too, which is always a blessing, and MacGyver seemed to be feeling pretty good.  He was certainly looking pretty good . . . 

Sorry.  Distracted.

Anyway . . .   When I had to write the date on the forms for dropping Flintstone off, I commented to his super awesome care provider that today is our Miniversary (basically, our dating anniversary) and I hadn't even realized it.  I mean, I have his gift and card waiting in my office, but I didn't realize it this morning.  Oh well, MacGyver didn't say anything about it either.

Then I got to work.  And guess what I found in my bag? 

That little sneak!  He is soooo into surprises, and he always beats me in the romance department, no matter how hard I try.  If you can't tell from the pictures, my first surprise of the day was an assortment of 4 different kinds of cheesecake.  And I'm told there's more to come.  I pointed out to him that we decided to go low-key this year and set a $20 spending limit.  He said that because of the migraines (side effect of the health issues lately), he may have forgotten that.  Scoundrel. 

So today is going to be a good day.  I'm very excited about it.  We already had our Miniversary dinner Monday night because Punky had a thing to go to from 5:30 to 9.  We had some delicious Asian fusion food, then went to our favorite coffee house downtown for dessert, and took a long walk by the waterfront.  I may miss winter, but there are some pluses to living in the South.  The weather was beautiful and downtown here is so pretty.

We'll see what the rest of today has in store, because even in the midst of all the craziness that can present itself in our lives, he is always a bright spot.

I feel the need to recognize just how lucky I am to have MacGyver in my life.  I've commented a million times about what an amazing father he is; how compassionate, loving, witty, and HOT he is.  But there's more to it than that.  It's not just all his amazing qualities, but also how those qualities affect me.

Being with MacGyver makes me a better person and makes our lives better in general.    He is one of the most considerate men you'll ever meet.  He truly pays attention to what I like and how I feel about things.  Sometimes I wonder if he knows me better than I know myself.  He always seems to know exactly what I need – even when what I need isn't pretty.

Because MacGyver is an extremely blunt and honest individual.  To put it plainly, I think it takes a very strong woman to be with MacGyver (I know that sounds braggy, but follow me on this).  MacGyver will never hesitate to tell me when I'm full of crap or to pull me back down to the details when I'm too focused on the big picture.  If you're looking for someone to constantly stroke your ego or who will just play along and do things your way, MacGyver is not your guy.  He has a low tolerance for BS and zero tolerance for narcissism.  He will weigh in whether you ask for his opinion or not.

And I freaking love it.  I find it really comforting to know that I have that check there.  Where other people will tell you what you want to hear while in the back of their minds thinking you're making a fool of yourself or wishing you would change what you're doing, MacGyver will come out and say it.  So I never have to worry that he's not saying what he means, or that I'm doing something dumb without realizing it.  Because I can be a bit flighty.  And I can shockingly be quite a little full of it from time to time.  And I hate feeling like people are just nodding along when I talk.  MacGyver listens, and if I get too lawyery, he calls me on it.

And you know what else?  It makes every compliment, every sweet sentiment a million times more meaningful.  I have always hated dating guys who spew flattery and platitudes.  Even now, if a guy flirts with me and starts blurting out boilerplate compliments, I immediately hop inside my head for a scathing monologue.  I mean, it really is rather insulting.  How shallow do you think I am that you feel the need to suck up to me?  You could at least stop to think for ten seconds before you start blabbering that superficial crap.

But with MacGyver, it's different.  Because his praise is real.  Since I know that he'll tell me if he doesn't like something I'm wearing or if he thinks I'm talking out my a$$, I also know that when he says all the wonderful things he says, he really means them.  This praise is detailed, perfectly fit to me, and honest.  And he's not stingy with the compliments, either.  It seems like every time we talk, I come away feeling more.  I can't really describe it.

If MacGyver doesn't like you, you'll know it in ten seconds flat.  He can pick out your flaws and nail you with them with grave accuracy.  Shallow people don't get along with MacGvyer.  I have at least two friends (not super close, but still friends) who don't like him because he doesn't put up with their BS and he doesn't stroke their egos (or nod along when they are publicly stroking their own).  This trait can make him pretty freaking obnoxious in arguments, and, man, have we had some great ones.  They are extremely few and far between, but damn.  It sucks to argue with someone that blunt who can nail all your flaws.  But it's also amazing.  Because every confrontation is a giant step forward for each of us.  Because nothing simmers in the background, unresolved and ignored.

It is so much better than anything I've had in the past – spineless wimps who just let me have my way (though I did have some very evil fun with those types in my younger years) and the fun, flirtatious, playboys no deeper than a sidewalk puddle.  Ultimately, in my past, I trampled every single guy I dated.  Even Evil Ex before he lost his mind.  But I can't trample MacGyver, and it's the best thing that could have happened to me.

For some people, in some relationships, a dominant personality and a submissive personality fit together perfectly.  But not for me.  I am strong willed and opinionated and can bulldoze over submissive personality types without even realizing it.  I'm so glad to have found someone strong enough to stand up to me, keep up with me, challenge me, and still be there for me when I fall apart.  Which is the real beauty of it.  No one is strong all the time.  And if you're the only strong one in a relationship, who supports you when your strength runs out?  BUT that is a whole other tangent.

MacGyver makes me a better person.  It's not always easy, but it is always, always worth it.

I'm not trying to brag going on about how strong willed MacGyver and I both are.  It's merely a personality type, which, like any other, has its positives and negatives.  In this context, I don't mean strong to be a qualitative measure.  And if you're reading this as some sort of braggy post, you're missing the point.

Miniversary Weekend

Or

The Food Nazi Goes on Vacation

Our Miniversary trip to Boston was awesome. We took off fairly early Saturday morning and headed to Boston for the Chocolate Tour. We loaded onto a trolley and rambled around Boston listening to a very interesting history of chocolate and sampling various treats. The chocolate tart thing at the Top of the Hub was amazing. Then there was the all-you-can-eat chocolate buffett at the Langham. Oh. My. Dessert. I cannot exaggerate how much variety and how many different desserts there were. Chocolate soups, candies, tarts, cookies, ice creams, confections of all sorts, even a chocolate pasta bar. My favorite was probably the real custard with strawberries on top. But it’s a tough call. There was so much. We stuffed ourselves to a disgusting degree. But it was just impossible to stop.

I don’t want to hear any gripes about chocolate and caffeine and Pip. I have been assured and reassured by countless sources including my midwives that a little caffeine here and there is ok (I was told up to 200mg , my midwife said 300mg, a day – I never come even CLOSE to that, and I certainly didn’t on Saturday).
After that, we stumbled our over-full bellies over to check in to our room at the Charlesmark. It was really an adorable hotel, though we didn’t spend a whole lot of time there. We spent some quality time recovering from our overindulgence before heading out to roam Boston for a while. It was a beautiful, lovely day, and the area of the city we were in was gorgeous. It really made me miss Brooklyn. It seems I really am a city girl at heart. The Boston Commons, The theatre district, and the Copley Square area were all so great. We wondered around for quite a while. Eventually, we needed to eat something that wasn’t dessert, ha. Even though I knew better, it was a special occasion, so we indulged in a HUGE Italian sausage with sautéed peppers and onions, mustard, and ketchup. It was SOOOOO good. I’m drooling now just thinking about it. It’ll be a LONG time before I let myself eat something that terrible for me again :-(

We also stumbled across the Bull & Finch, the bar that was the inspiration for Cheers. It was cute, and surprisingly not overpriced. So we had to stop in and have a couple drinks (I had an orange juice). Then we headed back to the room to change and off to The Elephant and Castle for a murder mystery dinner theatre (yes, more food – it was a food weekend). The show was funny, the food was good, I had the pasta – the only vegetarian dish they offered, and continued to over-stuff myself.

The walk back was also wonderful. We walked up a beautiful tree-lined greenway with all the trees lit up with white MacGyvertmas lights. Back at the hotel, we wanted to go hang out in the bar because it was a really nice bar and lounge, but we had just spent too many hours waking and eating, and we ended up just taking a shower, cuddling up, and watching documentaries on theTV. Even that was pretty awesome, though.

Complimentary continental breakfast in the morning (something I love in hotels) that lasted until 10, and we didn’t have to check out until NOON! Love the Charlesmark.

We mostly ate fruit because, really, we had had just about enough gorging. Then we took the Boston subway to the boat show. I like the New York subway better. I had so much fun in Boston, and really loved it so much, that I felt the compulsive need to continually point out to myself that New York is better, haha. For instance, the stairs down into the New York subway are spaced better, at a more natural space. Don’t you just hate steps that are too short?

The boat show was boring. I wish there had been a car show instead, but, alas, there wasn’t. So we got back on the Boston subway and wondered around the Boston Commons area some more then ate some delicious burritos at Boloco. Love that place! I haven’t yet decided whether I prefer Boloco or Chipotle. I love them both. Guess I’ll have to figure out which is more environmentally friendly thought they’re both up there.

And finally, we headed home, exhausted and happy. It was a good weekend.

There are some pictures. I’ll try to get them up soon. We’ll see ;-)

Predator

Karen over at A Peek at Karen't World posted a Wednesday Confessions today that I couldn't resist joining in on:  Dating Confessions.

We've all done things we regret (or at least should regret) in the dating arena.  Karen's were largely sins of omission - as in omitting acknowledgement of these boys' existances, ha.  Mine, quite humorously regrettably, were probably a little worse.  Before the most amazing man in the world won my heart and lured me (thankfully) out of the dating world, I was downright cruel not the nicest girl in the world.

MacGyver referred to my dating personna before I actually grew up a little and got serious with him as a sexual predator.  OF COURSE NOT IN THE SAME CONTEXT AS CHILD PREDATORS.  Ew, gross, wrong.  But I may have, in fact, been a little bit predatory - but that was only if someone was stupid enough to class themselves as prey!

I never went out hunting for idiot guys to be mean to.  I told them.  I warned them.  In some cases, I even had my friends warn them.  I did not want to be anyone's girlfriend.  I was not a nice girl.  I would carry on a relationship with you without any concern at all for your feelings.  Because I warned you ahead of time.  But did they ever listen?  Of course not.  I seemed so innocent.  I could never hurt them.  Or they were going to "rescue" me.  Gag me is more like it, ugh!

Now, I could delve into the possible reasons from my past that I so joyously wrongly treated these boys the way I did, and there are some biggies.   But really, I just found it interesting to see how much you could tell a person straight out that you were going to be mean to them and watch their own ego completely prevent them from taking you seriously.  This is a tactic that works out pretty well in court, too.

Apparently, I'm supposed to give specific examples.  Hmmmm . . .  There are oh so many to choose from.  My best friend from undergrad, the Producer's absolute favorite is this guy I had been dating for a couple weeks, to whom I had made the status of our relationship PERFECTLY CLEAR.  We are  not serious.  We will never be a "real" couple.  If you try to "relationship" me, I will come down on you with all due cruelty.  We will just go out, have fun, no emotional attatchment, it will be laid back and fun.  Did he listen?  OF COURSE NOT!

One day, The Producer and I are sitting in our favorite Anthropology class, and this guy walks up to me.  Shocked the heck out of me.  In the couple weeks we had been dating, I never noticed he was in this class!  Probably because The Producer and I sat off in our own corner and actually discussed class topics as opposed to the bubbly sorority crap that always seemed to be going on around us in that class.  Seriously, if you don't want to take a challenging class, DON'T SIGN UP FOR ONE.

So, anyway, this guy walked up to us. We had a little strained small talk (strained because in the back of my mind I was already annoyed with guy talking to me like he was my “boyfriend” or something, introducing himself to The Producer- who, by the way knew exactly who he was- and so on). And then, he asks (quite presumptuously, if I do say so myself), “Don’t you think we should sit together?” (implying that either The Producer or I should move). Well, considering the circumstances, the answer to that seemed pretty clear and straightforward to me:

“No.”

A look of shock with a tint of confusion followed up with a glimmer of hurt feelings. The Producer almost lost it laughing. He always found my straight rational approach to relationships highly amusing.

That guy and I went out a few more times, but he kept trying to relationship me, so that was pretty much the end of it. Remarkably resilient ego, though, that one. He never held the above scenario against me. He just acted like it had never happened.

That is just one example of many similar situations. All of them amuse the hell out of me amused me at the time and still do even though I now know I was mean. Ha, I could go on and on with these stories. I know that sounds pretty harsh, and it really probably was, but I had a rule of honesty and rationality, and felt that that meant these guys couldn’t get mad at me for doing exactly what I had said I would.

Ultimately, though, MacGyver ruined my game. He never fell into the trap of not believing I would do something I said I would or of not taking me at my word. And for some reason, I didn’t want to do mean things to him, and I didn’t want to think of me as a person who would. At one point, I did anyway and pulled one very mean tactic on him (to find out my heartless move, see the paragraph labeled A Year In Limbo in Our Story).  But in the end he won.  I finally recognized that maybe being a b*&^% wasn't quite as much fun as I thought it was, at least not if I wanted to keep MacGyver around, and I really, really did.  I let him relationship me.  And have been quite happy ever since.

I know it's not Wednesday anymore, but lets hear those confessions anyway.  What sort of cruelties did you pull in the dating world?

Blowing Away the Past

MacGyver and I have too much crap. You see, we never really got rid of anything when we merged our households (years ago). We keep meaning to. We talk about it A LOT. Before every one of our many moves, lol. We have two microwaves, two toasters, at least 5 TVs, two futons, and just boxes and boxes of duplicate crud and old stuff from long before we were together. All of it is destined for charity someday soon (please, please SOON).

But we're both packrats and hold on to worthless stuff until we don't even know we have it anymore. Like this statue:

From Cheap Wine and Cookies

I found this with a bunch of really, really random yard stuff in a very old box of MacGyver's. I am not a fan of angel or cherib stuff and was filled with an instant desire to trash the thing. A desire MacGyver more than shared when I showed it to him. Apparently, this is a statue from his first wedding about a decade ago.

You see, MacGyver really, really does not like being reminded of that wedding. The reason he hates such reminiscences is because just a matter of weeks after that nice, long, super-Catholic ceremony to his high school girlfriend, she started sleeping with other guys. While he was in boot camp. I could go into detail about how unbelievably wrong it all was on all sorts of different levels, but I really don't think it's necessary, and I have no desire to start conflict. The action speaks for itself.

Years later, when they tried to make it work again, I'm told she was so insanely jealous of his relationship with Punky that it threw her into fits of rage.

I refrain from passing judgement on things I wasn't there to witness outside of the fact that my husband and daughter were hurt by these situations. I will only go so far as to say I don't like the statute because it is from MacGyver's wedding to someone else. How could I not hate it? And it is soooo ugly, ha.
So we got rid of it. And, man, was it fun!

From Cheap Wine and Cookies

Shot #1:


That first round did some nice damage, but the bullet basically passed right through the statue's ear, so I switched to something with a little more oomph for Shot #2:

BAM! As Bon Jovi would say, "Good-bye to Yesterday!" Hysterical childish giggles.

(Colleen composes herself and becomes serious, really - I swear)

I'm sorry if this offends anyone. It's not meant to, but I couldn't resist. I just find it too effing hysterical. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it's a bad sign that I amuse myself so much. But I enjoy it, and no one got hurt, so weeee, fun with guns. lol.

From Cheap Wine and Cookies

From Cheap Wine and Cookies

From Cheap Wine and Cookies

You don't have to tell me I'm sick . . . :-P

Every Couple Has a Story

Every Couple has a story.
This is ours.
      How long have you been together?  It's one of those questions people ask all the time, but for DH and I there isn't really a straightforward simple answer.  So I'm going to put as much of it down here as I can, and I'll have a place to refer people who feel the need to know the details.
How We Met

      Neither of us really remembers when we first laid eyes on each other.  There was no sickeningly sweet love at first sight moment, which is fine with me because I think love at first sight is a crock (lust at first sight, sure, but there's a lot more to love than sight). 

      I worked at Applebee's the whole time I was going to Purdue, but I had spent the summer between my second and third years in Michigan cocktail waitressing and hanging out with my family.  Sometime while I was gone, DH started working there.  As it turns out, we both found each other attractive from the very beginning, but we each thought the other was in a relationship, and, as we both hold very deep seated disdain for cheating, there wasn't much flirting, or really even conversation.  [Also, I had spent part of my first and second years of undergrad with my "high school sweetheart" who literally and admittedly wanted to kill me, so I was a little withdrawn at work.  I spent the better part of a year rebuilding myself after that - but that recovery is its own story.]

First Date

      So we both spent time admiring each other, but didn't really talk, until one day I was chatting with another co-worker about relationships and how, after having intentionally spent a year single and free of guys, I was thinking it had been long enough.  DH, who was ringing in an order right behind/next to me, turned and said, "I thought you were engaged?"  He and I got to talking about how we had both been single for about a year; both coming out of very unpleasant relationships, and how we had each thought the other was still in a relationship.  Unfortunately, I had to excuse myself because I needed to take my car (my dead sexy 1976 Mustang II Cobra 302) in to have the oil changed.  DH then pointed out that he loved working on cars and offered to change the oil for me.       He changed the oil on a Saturday when I was working a double, and came in to tell me that it was done, and gave me a note with four things the car needed on it.  The fourth thing was "Date - Dinner and a Movie."  Which was very cruel because I then had to work about 8 more hours with that flying around in my head, so in retaliation, I waited until Monday evening to call him.  Let the games begin!

      We agreed to meet at Starbucks in the Levee and pick a movie from there.  We chatted over coffee for quite a while.  I don't really remember much of what we talked about except that he, like so many other guys, questioned my decision to join the Marine Corps (and at that point I had a rule against guys who raised objection to my military status, but, as it turns out, DH had the power to get me to break a lot of my rules - I also had a rule against dating guys with kids, and I knew he had a daughter; and I had a rule against ever dating my exes - that comes into play later).  At least he questioned it based on his own experience in the Navy and not out of some sexist mindset.  Overall, it was a really pleasant time.  None of the movies showing really struck either of us, so we decided to go for a walk and chat some more.       On our walk, we checked in with his mom, who was watching our daughter, DD (yes, I say our daughter because now, 7 years later, that is what she is).  Yep, I met his mom, and his daughter on our first date.   I had seen K before, but this was the first time I had really met the 18 month old.  She was amazingly well behaved and happy.

      After that, we decided to rent a movie since there was nothing we wanted to see in the theatre, and we went back to my apartment, which was just over the bridge.  Yes, this was our first date, and yes, we ended up back in my apartment, but, trust me nothing happened.  I believe I mentioned we had each spent most of the year before single, recovering from really bad relationships, and, while I can't speak for him, I can say that I was more than a little bit nervous.  My last "first date" had been in the middle of high school.       We sat about two feet apart on my couch and watched almost the whole Mr. Bean movie before we so much as held hands.  After the movie it was pretty late.  We talked a little more, and I walked him to the door where we passed a few very tense seconds.  He didn't kiss me.  I didn't kiss him.  He asked me which way the stairwell was, so I walked him to the stairs.  Then, finally, he kissed me.  And it was amazing.  He looked at me and said, "I've been wanting to do that all night."  And he left.  Remembering it still gives me butterflies in my stomach.

A Few Months

      Obviously, there were more dates after that - and more kissing.  I was faced with another situation I hadn't been in quite a while.  In my previous relationship, I had waited almost a year before having sex.  And while I obviously wasn't 18 anymore, and was no longer inclined to wait quite that long, I did fret about the whole sex step a fair bit.       But, Gd, when we got around to it - well, lets just say I was really, really glad I didn't wait a year, and really, really glad I didn't stay with my ex, ;-).

      And that coincided with when we became an exclusive couple, though we decided from the beginning to keep it a secret at work, which was also fun.  I spent a lot of time with him and DD, outings to the park and quite a few movies.  He wanted to take me roller skating, and I am oh so glad that never managed to happen until after we were married because, while I can give him a run for his money on ice, his roller skating abilities put me to shame.

      It wasn't long at all before he gave me a key to his apartment, and started talking about us a little more seriously.  This would be about the point that I freaked.  While our chemistry and friendship was amazing the whole time, I started to take issue with more and more things he said.  I didn't realize until a year or two later that at that point I was still fairly screwed up in the head from the insanity of my earlier relationship, and nowhere near ready to be vulnerable to another person.       That summer he was supposed to come to a wedding in MI with me and had to back out at the last minute because DD's sitter fell through.  I used that and a comment he made about ladybugs as my way out.  It wasn't dramatic or heartwrenching.  It was pretty straightforward.  It had only been a few months.

A Year in Limbo

      I came back from MI a month or so later, we had both gone on a couple dates with other people, and we didn't talk much for a couple weeks.  It was weird, though.  I would still flush around him.  I still wanted to talk to him.  I had always been able to just write people off in the past and completely ignore them, but for some reason that didn't work around him.       So after a couple strange weeks at work, we found ourselves both out at a bar to see another friend and co-worker's band, Danger Car.  After that, a bunch of us went to another bar, Jakes, where DH and I somehow ended up sitting next to each other.  And then we somehow ended up talking.  And somehow his hand ended up on my knee.  And somehow we ended up back at my apartment . . .

      And from that point on, while we were not a couple, we had a cyclical relationship.       It usually went like this:  We would go out to a bar or club, and have an amazing time together.  Then we wouldn't speak to each other for a week or so.  Then we'd start talking again.  Then we'd go out again, and it was always an amazing time.  But we never "got back together," so to speak.  There were short periods of time where we saw other people (I think more on my part than on his), but we always ended up out together again.  There was some sort of draw there that I just couldn't fight (and trust me, I tried to fight it - I was a huge game player during this period of my life - hell I've always been a big game player).
This cycle continued on for a year.  At the end of my Sr. year at Purdue, he said something to me that was so insignificant that I don't even remember what it was or what it was about.  But at the time it pissed me off.  Then he wasn't able to go out one night that we had planned.  This hurt me, I now realize, a lot more than I care to admit.  At the time I translated the hurt into indignity.

      At the end of the school year, I drove my U-Haul to Applebee's to turn in my uniform and pick up my paycheck.  When he said hi I asked him if he was going to miss me.  When he asked why, I told him I was moving to New York for Law School.

"When?" "Right now," I pointed to the U-Haul in the parking lot.

      We hugged, and that was it.  That was the summer of 2005, and we didn't speak for almost a year after that.       He tells me now that he was really, really angry with me for doing that, and rightfully so.  He claims that I drove him into a bad relationship he never would have otherwise considered.  I still dispute that particular claim ;-)  At the time, I had convinced myself that he didn't care about me at all and that I cared very little about him.  Both of these things were completely untrue.

Reconnecting

      In the period of months after that, we both went on with our lives.  I went to OCS and was commissioned by the US Marine Corps, then picked up with my class at New York Law School two days later.  He moved back to Wisconsin.  We both had some adventures in seeing other people, but were each, ultimately, left wondering what the other was up to.       Neither of us remembers who contacted who first, nor when exactly it was.  It was sometime during the summer of '06, or possibly a little earlier.  We found each other on MySpace (as I said, we still don't know who found who - we both looked each other up), and by the end of the summer were messaging each other a couple times a week.

      The connection came back immediately, and I found myself realizing that I hadn't exactly been fair to him the first time around.  Soon we were talking every day, and working daily to try to figure out how we could see each other in person.       He wanted to come to NY, but had been financially crippled, being stolen from in a relationship while we were apart.  I was a poor student.  We finally pulled it together for November.  Then, as always happens in my life, an automobile thwarted my plans.  (Seriously, I swear I must have killed someone with a car in a past life and karma is playing with me, the comical chain of mishaps involving automobiles, 99% through pure chance, is unbelievable and fairly comical).

      Finally, in January, he made it to The City. First Visit

      I was excited, and very, very nervous about this visit.  It had been more than a year since we'd seen each other.  I had no idea at all how the visit was going to go down, or, really, what he expected.  I had, as always been cagey and vague about our status.

      His flight got in a little early, and he was already at the baggage claim when I walked in.  He saw me first, and snuck up on me.  We hugged, and he kissed me - just a peck, but it made it clear that this visit was neither purely physical nor purely friendly.       We chatted more on the nearly hour long bus/subway ride back to Brooklyn.  It only took a few minutes for my nervousness to dissipate, and I realized I was completely comfortable with him.  We stopped at La Traviata, a nice little Italian place in Brooklyn Heights, and had a long pasta dinner and bottle of wine.
From that point forward, the visit was amazing.  We were completely comfortable together (he is, to date, the only man I've been completely comfortable around).  I took him to do the tourist sightseeing thing:  We went to the Top of the Rock (Rockefeller Center, WAY better that the Empire State Building), to Times Square, and around Brooklyn (in many ways, Brooklyn is the best part of NYC), and we spent a good deal of time just being together at my place. 

      I was very, very sad to see him go in the end.  After seeing him off, the first song out of more than 900 that played on my iPod, one it had never played before, was One More Night by Phil Collins.  It is still a significant song in our relationship. 1000 Miles

      That was the beginning of our whirlwind long distance relationship.  We lived just over 1000 miles apart (think I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by the Proclaimers, lol), but we talked every day, and we actually managed to see each other fairly often.

      We stayed at the Hilton in Chicago in February, which is when we "officially" got back together.  He told me, "I don't care what you say, you're my girl now."  Did I mention my fear of commitment? 
I went to Wisconsin and spent a ton of time getting re-acquainted with DD and re-establishing our bond.  On these trips we played, went camping, went to fairs, went swimming, and just hung out at home watching movies - and I introduced her to tater-tot casserole - the beginning of a long and continuing campaign to integrate as many veggies as possible into her diet.

      We met up in Michigan and (after we had been dancing around it for a few weeks), he told me he was in love with me.  He had insisted he was going to make me say it first, but we were out dancing at a bar I used to work at, one of my exes was crying in the corner, and he said, "You win.  I love you."  Doves Cry by Prince was playing.

      When we couldn't be together, we talked every night.  We took turns reading each other to sleep (thank heavens for free nights and weekends!), and we started passing a journal back and forth to write to each other.  It was in this book that I (yes, it was me this time) eventually wrote "Screw it.  Move to New York." And He Did

      He moved to Brooklyn in August 2007.  Three months later, we moved to Jersey City, where I became, in the truest sense of the word, DD's mother.

      In March of 2008, he proposed to me on stage at the very same bar in Michigan where he had first told me he loved me.  My dad and best friend were both there. We got married in my mom's back yard during a torential downpour on the 23^rd of August, 2008.  The wedding was soaking wet, a little redneck, and absolutely amazing.  The rest, as they say is history.