Things are Always Shifting

       There is so much going on.  So much to say and so much to ramble about.  So many blog posts waiting to be written, and so very many more waiting to be read.

      Alas, I am in fear for this little blog of mine.  Things in my life are changing, shifting, as they always do.  I still love this blog, and I'm not ready to give up on it yet, but I'm not sure it will ever be the same as it has been.  There are two major shifts that are threatening the longevity of Cheap Wine and Cookies right now:  my life and my personality.

       I mentioned some big news recently.  While it is not set in stone yet, it is looking like I am destined for a pretty big promotion here in a few months.  They want to make me the Military Justice Officer (usually called the MOJO).  This is one step above lead prosecutor (in civilian terms).  I will be in charge of all prosecutions for the entire Eastern Region.  I will be third in command here when I work, right after the Colonel and the Major.  And ohbytheway, it will be a new Colonel and a new Major, because the current ones are leaving.

      This is a big deal.  It's a big promotion (in responsibility, authority, and prestige - not in pay, ha).  Two years ago, I really, really wanted to be MOJO.  There are many who envy this position.

       Alas, the last month or so since I found out about this intended course of events, I have had a lot of internal struggle about it.  As you might be able to guess, this is an intense job.  Probably not the best job for someone who wants to focus on family more - which is where I find myself standing at this point in my life.

       This is long hours and the course of people's lives will be riding on me.  And, to be honest, I considered asking to be passed up, asking to stay where I am.  I'm happy being the head of my section, and I am good at what I do now.  I have advanced the way my office works and expanded the knowledge base we have here.  And that probably plays into why I will shortly be moving.  Because I didn't ask to be passed up - mostly because I don't think I have a choice at this point.  The big heads seem set on me filling that seat.  Heaven help us all.

       So if I've said I was busy before, it's only just begun.  If I haven't had time to blog lately, I'll be lucky if I have time to bathe come fall.

       I have struggled with this impending change, and I have accepted it. 

      I do not will my future.  I try not to wish or hope.  I strive to move forward, but I don't focus on the direction.  I have faith that if I live my life the  best way I know how, I will be brought to where I need to be. 

      I never wanted to be a lawyer, but coincidence, and blind corners, and fate brought me to Law School, and I loved it, and I love Law.  I never would have dreamed that I would end up with MacGyver, and yet, against all sorts of strange odds, I did, and I couldn't be happier.  We have grown together in ways I know I never would have grown with anyone else.  The Marine Corps brought us to this base that we had never even considered, and there have been opportunities here we never could have foreseen.  I am always pushing forward, but I leave the direction up to fate.

       So I accept that this is what I need to do, and it is a very, very good opportunity.  If I get out of the Marine Corps, this will be excellent experience to have under my belt in a very competitive civilian economy.  If I stay in the Marine Corps, this puts me on an excellent career track.  I will be in a position of enough authority that I should (if the Universe smiles on me and grants me superiours who do not micromanage) be able to juggle both a massive caseload and family responsibilities.

      But I don't know what will become of this poor little blog.  This blog I have loved so much and poured so much into.  This blog where I have made so very many friends and stored so many memories.  I don't want to see it go, but even now, I feel it slipping a little.  And it's not just because I'm busy.

       I also feel a lot less of a drive to post here lately.  I still think of things I want to post about all the time.  I still think of things I believe would make good posts or that I want to share, but there's just not as much push behind it.

       I think I've just been more internally focused lately.  It's like the need to put stuff out there has lessened.  Maybe I'm growing up.  Maybe I'm less narcissistic ;-)  Probably, I'm just too busy and focused elsewhere.

      Because even as I write that I'm thinking of two or three posts I really wish I had time to put up.  So I guess the drive is still there.  And the narcissism.  They're just being subjugated.

       And yes, I think there's a slight egotistical drive behind blogging.  Most blogging, at least.  But that's not meant and an indictment of bloggers.  I think humans are naturally approval seeking creatures.  So don't anyone get all upset thinking I just insulted you.

      So there you have it.  I don't know what the future holds for Cheap Wine and Cookies.  I want to believe I will get back to posting more regularly soon, but honestly I don't know how that would be.

      Don't give up on me yet, though.  Because, at the very least, I will always have the need to post obligatory random pictures!

I've probably already posted some of these, but I'm too lazy busy to check.

High Hopes, Big Ideas, and Plugging Along

      I have time to post today, right now.  Not a lot of time, but time.  I figure I had better put something up because this week is shaping up to be a busy one. 

      I got a ton done today.  In the first hour I was at work this morning, I closed 4 cases.  I scheduled a bunch of conferences and whatnot over the course of the next couple days, and, if I can stick to my schedule, I will close 7 more cases by Friday.

       This is big.  Too many open cases at once is extremely stressful.  And, after last week's craziness, I had a LOT of open cases.  It feels good to get resolution for my clients.  And it feels even better to get the stacks of chaos off my desk.

      Though I do now have a pile of chaos on the floor next to my desk.  I figure if it's there, in my way, looking atrocious, maybe I'll be more likely to sort through it and file it away.

      Right.

       If that were the case, my entryway table wouldn't be COVERED in debris from the last 3 months.  (And 3 months is being generous - it probably goes back to the day we moved in).

      Nevertheless, my desk is cleared off, I've closed a bunch of cases today (I closed even more this afternoon).  If all goes well, I will only have 3 open cases remaining at the end of this week.  That's assuming I don't open any more this week.  Which, of course, I will.  But getting down to 3 cases is the goal.

      I have a lot of balls in the air right now.

      Ha.

      I said I have a lot of balls.

      *Oops*  My closet Jr. High sense of humor got out there for a minute.

      I have a lot on my mind.  Seriously, there is so much floating around in there, I'm surprised strings of words in Times New Roman font haven't stared falling out of my ears.

       I have big plans at work.  I'm revamping systems that have been in place for years.  I'm modernizing.  I'm saving some trees.  I'm leaving my mark.

      You know, between the back-to-back-to-back clients. 

       I have big plans, but putting them into action is slow going.

        The same goes for at home.  Big plans.  Big plans for stuff to do with the kids.  Big plans for the gardens.  Big plans for cleaning/organizing/redecorating.  Big plans for date nights with MacGyver.

       Time to put those plans into action, though?  Limited.

       At the very least, I have made a couple calls about getting a babysitter.

       Thank heavens for MacGyver.  Even though he has been crazy busy the last couple weeks, too, he has really taken on a lot around the house.  My main two chores every night are cooking dinner and doing the dishes - which may not sound like a lot to you stay-at-home or work-at-home types, but I only have about 3 hours a night with my kids and my "chores" don't include any of the things I have to/ get to do with them (homework, playing, baths, bedtime, etc.).  Over the last week or so, MacGyver has taken over cooking a couple times, and done the dishes for me at least twice.  He is the sweetest thing.  Seriously, I have never met a more considerate person.

      I just wish I were better equipped to return the favor.  Which of his chores can I do for him???  It would have to be a heck of a lot of them to even compare to what he does for me.

      But I have big plans for things to do at home.  MacGyver and I were hatching even bigger plans today at lunch.  Ahhhh, future fantasies.

      Then there's this little blog here.

       So many posts swirling around in my brain.  Ethical Eating and Sustainable Living!  We've been doing so much around the house that I want to share!  There is so much information I want to diseminate!  But cobbling together those posts takes a lot more effort than long train of thought rambles like this.  And the Compassion blog (which I secretly think no one else really likes, but whatever, it's important to me).  I'm already in Step 2, and there is so much to write about for Step 2, but I still haven't finished writing my Step 1 posts.  Erg.

       And Project 52?  Yeah, well, we just won't talk about that.

       Dangit.  This was not supposed to be another post whining about how I'm so busy lately.  It was supposed to motivate me to write the other posts I've been putting off.

      Fail.

      Oh well.  You'll deal.  At least it's not another Compassion post, right?  (NO!  Not right, you love the Compassion posts, don't you?)

      I AM busy lately, but it's good busy.  It's getting things done busy.  It's responsible adult busy.

       Which leaves me wondering:

       How the EFF do real, no-kidding responsible adults do this?  How the EF do you live in a house with two working parents and do quality work and lead a healthy lifestyle and maintain an entertaining blog/hobby and keep up on the latest professional and interest-based information and keep a clean house and keep in touch with friends and have a social life and lead church groups and cook and clean (yes, it's redundant, but so is effing cleaning) and date your husband and grow personally and BREATHE?

        Seriously.  I don't think it's possible.  I'm starting to think everyone else is faking it.  Or you're keeping house elves around to do your cleaning.  And maybe your gardening.

       Don't get me wrong, I am having a really good week.  I'm happy.  Things are awesome.  I'm kicking ass.  But even when I'm on top of my game and kicking ass,  there are things falling to the wayside.  I was supposed to reshuffle my savings account setup today, and I didn't even glance at it.  I didn't write a good blog post.  I didn't take the diapers out of the drier.  I am SO far behind in garden prep.

       This post has no point.  But I really wanted to post in case I don't get the chance over the next couple days. 

      And because none of you like my Compassion posts.

      Not that I'm whining.  Because I'm not.

      I am happy and super greatful for all the amazing things life has piled on me to stress me out: Family, Job, Faith, Interests, the whole chaotic mess!




Flintstone decided he wanted to learn to use chopsticks last night.  Pretty darned good for 16 months old!


       And there are about 4 of you who I owe return emails to.  Brittany is one of them.  There are more.  Did I say I was going to send you some information then fail to do so.  PLEASE call me out on it.  I really need to start flagging the emails I need to respond to.

      More random.

      Good thing the lovely Shawn and IA don't have any rules for their Talk to Us Tuesday!  And for more of my rambling, check out IA's hilarious post for TTUT Today and my mini blog post in her comments section.     




 I don't even know if that's the right code because my stupid computer blocks everything.It even, as of last week, block Pinterest.The horror!

Personas

      Colleen Timothy.  If you follow me here on Cheap Wine and Cookies, and/or on my Facebook, and/or my Twitter (plug, plug), you probably know me, Colleen, pretty well.  If you met me "in real life," though, I think you'd be surprised.

      My online persona really doesn't line up with my real life personna.  Even my Facebook account that isn't linked to my blog, while a closer representation, doesn't completely capture my day-to-day personality.  I suppose that's not surprising.  I mean, can any person really be truely represented virtually?  Probably not.  There is too much else that plays into in person encounters to be replicated in a cyber atmosphere.  But I think some online representations are farther off than others.

      Some people, of course, blatantly lie and misrepresent themselves online.  Some people use their online personnas to try to cover up their pasts or change perceptions they are subject to in real life.  Some people construct elaborate alternate realities online.  Some people are just fake. 



Via

      I'd like to think I'm not one of those people who is just blatantly fake.  I don't have anything to hide.  I'm not trying to come off differently online than I do in real life.  And yet, a discussion I recently had with a co-worker got me to thinking just how different my online life is from my "offline" life.

      You see, there was big drama going on at work.  My workplace is small enough that everyone knows everyone else and gossip spreads like wildfire.  Except around me.  It is as though there is a little bubble around my office that shields me from all that gossip and drama. 

       It's not as though I'm never involved or aware of it, but I am much less embroiled in it than the majority of my co-workers, and the gossip virtually never involves me.  You see, in real life, I am a very private person.  Not so much online, right?  ;-)  I have to same values in real life that I do online, the same opinions, the same family, but I'm not a real big "sharer" normally.

      If something MacGyver is interested in comes up in conversation, I will most certainly talk about him.  But there are only about 4 people I ever discuss my marriage with.  The only reason my co-workers and friends know that I am very happily married is because of the flowers, pictures, plants, and other little tokens that tend to randomly appear in my office.

       I am a very quiet person.  No, seriously.  I hear you snickering.  I don't talk much unless I have something to say, something to contribute.  That doesn't mean I don't talk.  I won't hesitate to weigh in on legal discussions or give lively and detailed answers when aquaintences enquire into my lifestyle (usually ethical eating related).  I am quiet and private, but I am no shrinking violet.  I am confident and capable in the courtroom.  I will not hesitate to stand up for what I believe, even if my opinion is unpopular.  But you'll rarely catch me discussing the weather or pop culture with random people. 

      Occassionally, drama finds me - even in real life.  But even then, it usually falls flat.  Even when there's drama in my real life, I usually only rant about it online.  Unless there is something useful I can actually do with the information in real life, I ignore stuff.  And then kvetch about it online.

      When I find out that my entire workplace is in a tizzy over some drama that I had no idea was going on, I'm not surprised.  Maybe I should be more aware.  Maybe it would be a waste of my energy.  I'm pretty happy just the way I am.

       One thing is for sure, though:  My online personna is not the same as my real life personna.

      How different are you online from real life?

      PS:  I'm starting to fear that the most accurate reflection of me online is Pinterest.  How frightening is that?

A Compassionate Life: My Endeavor

      As a couple of you have already noticed, there is a new tab up at the top of this page.  A Compassionate Life:  My Endeavor is my new blog following my progress as I undertake Karen Armstrong's Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life.  There being twelve steps worked out perfectly since I decided to undertake this project in December.  Hence, I will be devoting one month to each of the twelve steps.  Obviously it has not escaped my attention that January is almost over.  Not to fret, I have been following the first step all month, I just haven't written all that much about it.  I expect to get a couple posts out about the first step over the next week or so.  And if it bleeds over into February?  So what.  It's my project and I'll bleed if I want to.  Plus, since the steps build on each other, it's not like the first step suddenly stops when I move on to the second.

      Please check out the new blog.  You can either click on the first link in this post, or the tab at the top, or you can click one of the following links to be taken to the individual posts:

      Why Compassion?: The Journey Begins

     Why Compassion?:  It Fits

      And while I'm on the topic of other blogs, I've been thinking about my other tabs at the top.  Generally, when I add something to the Ethical Eating and Sustainable Living (EESL) blog, I post it here as well.  The EESL blog is more or less a place to gather the Cheap Wine and Cookies posts that relate to the topics of Ethical Eating and Sustainable Living.  The same goes for The Family That Reads.  It is a collection of Cheap Wine and Cookies posts. 

      I have not followed that trend with the Recipes site.  As often as I can, I throw up quick recipes (ok, they're not always quick to read, I'm rather wordy with my recipes), as I'm cooking or after dinner.  I do not, however, usually post those to Cheap Wine and Cookies because 1) it's a pain in the rear, and 2.) it would flood Cheap Wine and Cookies.

      So I'm putting forward this request, if you're interested, please follow the Recipes blog on it's own.

      At this point, I haven't decided whether I'm going to maintain the Compassion blog seperately, or whether I will post all the entries here on the Cheap Wine and Cookies main page.  I suppose that depend partially on whether anyone follows it.

      Any input from my loyal Cheap Winos?  Do you want to see my Compassion posts here on the main page, or would you rather follow it as a seperate blog?

Evolution

      It's 6 o'clock in the morning.  The house is quiet and still.  The only sounds are occasional doggie footsteps and the regular background hum of the house.

      This is one of my favorite times of day.  I sit alone by the fire and drink my tea and read.  It is my half hour of quiet.  It started when I was in law school - I would sit in bed and drink my coffee and watch Xena until the caffeine hit my bloodstream and got me moving.  For a while, starting about 4 months into my pregnancy and lasting until Flintstone was maybe 6 months, exhaustion forced me to give up this time.  Some days, it still does.

      Some days, I have to use this time to catch up on some cleaning or other random task I had put off.  Some days, I have PT and have to be out the door by 5:45. Those days are the worst.

       But days like today start off peacefully, a slow build to the day, as I sit with my tea and read.  Except today, for whatever reason, I can't get into my book. I'm still reading Tipping Point, and I still love it, but I didn't get into it when I picked it up.

      I got to thinking about the day ahead of me.  It will no doubt be another go-go-go super busy day.  Yesterday was nuts.  All my Marines looked just beat at the end of the day, even the other Captain.  It's the post holiday rush, and it's crazy.

      So I haven't been blogging much.  I've been thinking about it a lot.  I've been lurking your blogs a bit, but I just haven't had the time.  But I will get back into it. I have a bunch of good posts lined up.  I can feel my little blog evolving.  Growing up a little bit.  I suppose I am, too in a way.

      So please bear with me. Posts may get rather spaced out.  And when I do get time to  post, it's likely to be a little pop of 2 - 3 posts in one day.

      We shall see...

It's Not That I Don't Love You . . .

If your comment box is embedded below your post.  As in, it doesn't come up in it's own window when I click "Post Comment," then I can't comment on your posts.  I'm sure it's my government computer system, since I haven't noticed anyone out in blogland complaining about it, but it is still completely frustrating.

Then, if I try to email you the comment and you're a "no-reply blogger," well then I'm just annoyed.  Because I liked your post.  And I really wanted to tell you that.  But I can't.

So just do me a favor andchange your settings to make your comment box appear in it's own window.

Because if you posted something wonderful today about Bourbon Balls (Kaity) or about 10 posts I've tried to comment on lately (Freckles!), or something horrible like how many days until Christmas, Hanakkah, AND Yule (!!!), then you missed all I had to share with you.

For the rest of you, my loves who I can comment on and who I can't, I'll try to have a real post tomorrow.  My backlog is getting pretty severe, but on the bright side I am blowing through cases at work!  For now, check out the post I just put up on the Reading Site.

In the Works

      I've been absentee lately, I know.  I have so much to post about, but no time at all!  I have barely touched a computer in days.  I really miss you all.  I have a couple posts in the works and about 6 billion others stewing in my head.  I promise one of these days I'll find the time to make bloggy amends.

      But for now, there is just too much else I need to devote my attention to.  I'm really digging in at work and starting a whole bunch of new initiatives and projects to enhance our office's ability to render legal support to the Marines.  I have big plans and I really need to devote my energies to that right now.

      On the home front, I'm still in massive cleansing mode.  With the Frost Moon (also known as the Beaver Moon) 4 days ago, I started a massive sweeping purge.  Cleaning out storage areas, getting rid of bad habits, and even doing some social network purging.  Because no one needs 500 Facebook friends.  Seriously.  I've been meaning to pare it down for a while now, and I've finally started.  I'm trying to trim my life down to only positive people and things.  No more wasting my limited energy on pointless matters (*much*).

      And, I suspect, once I've surmounted the initial hill in my big cut and clear, I may even be a better blogger for it.  More time for blogging if I'm wasting less time on other things.

      I miss you all, and I'm sorry I haven't been stopping by and commenting.  I still love you, and I WILL be back as soon as I possibly can.

      In the meantime, I can usually find time to throw up recipes around dinner time, so the recipe site is getting more regular updates than anything else.  If you're really missing your daily doses of me, please follow the Recipes site!

      For instance, the other night I made the most amazing Squash Soup.  Seriously.  I was completely blown away by how delicious it turned out, and it really only had a few ingredients.  Please check it out and give it a try, it is SOOOO worth it.  I haven't been this proud of a recipe in quite a while!

ALSO, I can't comment on your blog if the comment form is embeded below the post.  I don't know why, but it's pissing me off.  Last time this happened, all I had to do was delete all my cookies, however that isn't working this time.  I have actually read a bunch of your blogs then been thwarted in my efforts to comment.  If anyone knows the answer, let me know!

Title Ideas?

      I will shortly be launching a new blog (yes, another one). The new blog will be my professional law blog - something I'm undertaking with an eye to future employment in the civilian sector. But I'm having a rough time coming up with a title for the new blog.

      It needs to be something somewhat professional without being too dry, and I don't want to restrict it to one area of law or practice, as I'd like to have the option of allowing it to follow me throughout my career.

      So, any ideas? Just throw them out there, even if you don't think they're great because right now, I've got nothing. Any idea will get my wheels turning.

      Other than that, I'm not sure you'll see a real post from me today. I have dozens of things I want to post about, but things are uber busy right now. Punky's birthday party is tonight and I'm going out of town for work Sunday. Somewhere around those events, I have 6 million other important things to do. But I miss you all and may have more time to blog next week from the Army JAG course.

      In the, meantime, let's hear those title ideas!

Vote For Me! (Pretty Please)

      I just wanted to take moment to direct everyone's attention to my lovely new "Nominate Me" button over in my sidebar ------>

      I've even included it below, just for your convenience, dear readers.  As we all know, I've been working on getting the Ethical Eating, Recipes, and Reading blogs rolling, and I'm trying to use For The Love of Blogs to facilitate that.  So if you find yourself with an extra 30 seconds, and you love me which OF COURSE you obviously do, please click on over and let THEM know just how much you love me.

      I'd be happy to do the same for you.

For the Love of - Me!

      Woo Hoo, guess who's featured over at For The Love of Blogs today??? 

      I'm tempted to get all cute with the "I'll give you a hint, it's your very favorite neurotic food blogger" or "She has a super hot husband," but I'm trying not to scare anyone away today ;-)

      My hope had been to have a super fun post up the day my FTLOBs feature came up, but, alas, I think I'm going to fail in that.  Because I have a mid-term exam in about an hour.

      "WTF?"  I can hear you thinking.  "Isn't she a lawyer?  Doesn't she routinely b*tch remark about how she's always working?  What the heck is she doing taking classes?"

      In addition to my normal lawyer duties, for the next few months I will also be the OIC (Officer in Charge) of the Tax Center for the base, so I'm taking a Tax Law and Prep refresher course.  fun.  Actually, it's not bad.  If you've been here before, you know I'm a total dork and I love school and classes and learning and all that jazz.  If this is your first time here, well now you know, and you'll probably high tail it out of here right now.

      Today is ALSO my very first day as the OIC of the Legal Assistance section - meaning I have completely changed the area of law I practice.  There will be another post with more details on that soon.

     But I'm rambling and not saying what I started this post to say, which is:

      Welcome FTLOBs visitors!

      I hope you like what you find here.  Leave me a comment, and I'll happily return the favor as soon as I can (though it may take a day or two).  I am completely addicted to comments, and always try to keep up with my regular bloggy buddies.

      Please stop in again over the next week or two for some more interesting posts as I get settled into the new job.

      And to my every beloved Cheap Winos who've been with me all along:



      Did I mention my taste in music tends to be just as dorky as the rest of me - except when it's dirty and wrong?

      One last piece of information you NEED to know:

THIS is the cutest little boy to have ever walked the Earth.

He's already obsessed with anything that has wheels, which is fine with me.  He's going to look adorable in my 1976 Mustang II Cobra 302.

 Thanks for stopping by!  I look forward to getting to know you!

The Family That Reads - And Other Big Events!

     So I haven't posted much lately because I've been TRYING to finish the dang post about my HS reunion - you know, before the 20 year rolls around!  But work has been super busy (and I've been a freaking rock star, let me tell you), and well, you know how it goes.

      Still, I'm not neglecting this here little blog.  Big things are afoot!  Did you see my three fancy new tabs up at the top there?  Recipes (which also includes nutritional information), Ethical Eating, and The Family That Reads?

     Hell Yes.

      These are the newest additions to Cheap Wine and Cookies, and I'm very excited about them.  I now have places to focus some of my scatteredness and an easier way for people who are looking for certain information from me to find it.

     I haven't gotten all the functionality figured out just yet, but I'm rolling the pages out now anyway because I just can't help myself.

     AND because today's Cheap Wine and Cookies post is actually located under the The Family That Reads tab.

      One day, I'll figure out a way to streamline all the posts into one feed AND keep them seperated in the tabs (or I won't, whatever), but for now I'm just going to post links here on the home page whenever I put a post under one of the tabs.  You can get to the posts that way, or you can follow each tab individually - so you have more control over which content you get!

     The Recipes and Ethical Eating tabs currently only have posts that were already posted to Cheap Wine and Cookies in the past,  but please don't hesitate to check them out and give me some input!

      Let me know what you think of the changes!

     And be sure to

Check out today's post:

What We're Reading Now

Changes

     Well, the migraine is on a downswing now, but it got a whole lot worse before it got better.  I did end up in a ball on my office floor and hanging over the porcelin throne.  But I'm [marginally] better now, and ramping up to trying to crank out a whole day's work in less than half a day.

     But first, here's a post I started a while ago and have finally become inspired to really post.  I would love input please!

      Cheap Wine and Cookies has always been kindof a mess.  It's like my desk, it's a little cluttered, and while I do have some form of organization I never waste the time making it perfectly pretty.  This probably makes me an amature blogger.  That's fine.  I am an amature blogger and I probably always will be.  I'm not here to make money or sell things, I'm not here for any kind of self promotion.  I started blogging about 8 years ago as an alternative method of journalling, and I stayed blogging because of all the great friendships I formed.

     For a couple months now - hell, probably longer than that - I've been thinking about changing things.  The recent hacker nonesense has spurred me to try to move forward with those changes.  I have some pages up there at the top that I like, but I haven't established the functionality in them that I really want.

     I need to make some adjustments to the code of my page so it shows up properly formated and in a visually pleasing manner every time.

      I want to display my wonderful friends' buttons.

      There are a million super fun ideas I have for this here little amature blog, but I have neither the time nor the skill to put them into play.  You would never know that when I was a freshman in college I was a website designer would you?  I was pretty good, too.  But it was a different kind of web page - one for facilitating peer-reviewed achademic feminist research.  AND it was straight up HTML, top to bottom.

      I SOOO don't have the energy or time for that anymore, and it's not really the way things are done these days anyway.  I don't know a thing about CSS.

     So I need an overall structure make over here.  I need increased functionality and the knowledge to impliment that further when I choose.

      And that won't be the only change.  Another reason I need to make the changes I'm contemplating is that I just can't continue blogging at the pace I have been.  As I get more and more sought after at work, I get more and more busy.  My home life is never going to "calm down."  Whose ever does?  I have less and less time for this blog and I need to restructure it to get the most out of the little time I can spend here.

      As much as I hate to say it, I see Cheap Wine and Cookies dropping to only a post or two a week.  But, as such, I want to make those posts really worth the effort.  And we'll see if my blogging addiction ever really lets up enough to allow me to blog that rarely.  And, ultimately I really like these ideas and I want to see them played out here on the interwebs.

     But here, HERE is the big problem with all of it:  I don't blog for profit.  I don't blog for any real "gainful" reason other than for it's own sake.  As such, I'm not willing to pay someone to overhaul my blog, as much as I'd love to.  Maybe if I didn't have 6 bazillion dollars in student loan debt.  I could teach myself.  But that takes time I don't have.

     So here's my plea:  If anyone out there knows anyone who knows about this stuff - in particular about increasing functionality on the other pages attached to the blog, who wants to help me out of the kindness of their heart or in exchange for a blog review or a batch of spinach brownies or some personalized ethical eating/nutritional advisement, send them my way. 

     I MAY have to move my blog to a different server, but I really don't want to.  I annoys the crap out of me when people move their blogs around over and over.  Even if it's necessary.  It still annoys me.

     Anyone out there have any ideas on who might be able to help me?

      Anyone out there know anything about moonfruit?  Opinions?

Back Up Off my Happily Ever After

      This will be the last you hear of this, hopefully forever, at least for now.  If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, be thankful and please move on to the next post, which is much more entertaining.

      I've got a bit of a storybook thing going on in my life - family, career, the whole 9.  I have an amazing husband who is the best friend, partner, and lover I could ask for.  I have a smart, charming, extremely well mannered little girl and the MOST adorable and happy baby boy you will ever, ever see.  We have 2 dogs, a cat, and some fish.  We have 5 chickens for eggs and an organic garden.  We compost most of our kitchen waste.  We recycle.  I am at the very beginning of what promises to be an exciting and extremely fulfilling career that enables me to provide a good living for my family while helping make a difference.

      Even though I work a lot of hours, I still manage to cook very nutritious dinners for my family most every night.  My husband and I still have an excellent love life.  I have amazing friends all over the world and get along well with my extended family.

      It is, for all appearances, perfect.

      Of course, that's just appearances.  Nothing is perfect.  I am constantly plagued with guilt over trying to juggle work and family duties.  I put off clearing away all the clutter on the countertops much longer than I should and I can't even remember when I last washed the windows.

      I've always been very open about the fact that MacGvyer and I are not one of those couples who "never fight."  We're both very bullheaded passionate people, and, like most of the population, we both have our own issues that we've been working through.  We don't scream in each other's faces, and I have never thrown anything at my husband, but we do disagree from time to time.  We even argue once in a while - and I'm glad we do.

      Because we come out of every disagreement understanding each other better and moving forward in our relationship.  We recognize that we are both flawed individuals and we are working together to make ourselves better - something I look forward to working on for the rest of my life.  I will never stop and just coast along - and I really doubt MacGyver ever would, either.

      Then there are the always recurring issues with BioB*&^%.

      And trying to decide what to do next in my career as well as MacGvyer's.

      Minor, everyday struggles and larger more lifechanging ones are constants in our lives.

      No, my life is not perfect.  My life is just that:  Life.  I live my life as well as I can, and so does MacGyver.  I work hard to be a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, lawyer, Marine, PERSON.  And a lot of the time, I feel like I succeed in those things.  Sometimes I fail, too.

      But do I run to my blog to kvetch, vent, and whine about every failure, every gripe, every disagreement?  Obviously not.  Because it's annoying.  Who the hell wants to read a blog full of nothing but complaints?  You know what?  I'm tired all the time.  At least once or twice a month I feel like I'm under so much pressure from so many directions that I am just going to crumble into a pile of debris and dust. 

      But I prefer to focus on the positive.  Sure I vent on my blog once in a while, but by and large I am of the opinion that I could have things so much worse and I need to remember that.  So I blog about the good things.  I blog about the happy things and the moments of my life that cause me to overflow with joy.  I like to blog about causes that move me, my kids' triumphs, and the neverending parade of little suprises and gestures of love MacGyver is always plying me with.

      Apparently, some people don't like that.  Apparently, some people just CAN'T STAND the fact that MacGyver and I are as happy as we are.  That our issues aren't debilitating or devistating - at least not for us.  Apparently, some people are so damned unhappy with their own lives and their own miserable failures that they want nothing more in the WORLD than to see MacGyver and I fail.

      Apparently some people feel the need to Google MacGyver and I obsessively.  To insert themselves into our lives uninvited and unnecessarily.  There are people out there who actually care THAT MUCH about our lives.  Not family members.  Not even friends.  These are people who have no real or good reason to concern themselves with us at all, let alone maliciously.

     At first, I was annoyed.  Then I was pissed.  But when I really think about it, it's just sad.  How pathetic must one's life be to obsess that much about someone else's?  How insecure must a person be that they feel a compulsive need to try to create drama and spread lies about me?  How unsatisfying and sad must someone's life be if they are devoting their time to this crap?

      I know who you are.  Just because you lie about your marriage (and trust me, I know you lie), doesn't mean I'm lying about mine.

      It's pathetic, and it's sad.  But, alas, there isn't much I can do about it.

      I considered letting go of the blog.  I considered moving it.  I don't want to do either of those things.  I recognize that by having the blog, I'm putting myself and a portion of our life out there.  For now, I'm not ready to give up the friendships I have built just to avoid the sad little antics of tiny, insecure, shallow people who are trying to take their failures out on me.

      So I'm just going to sit back and watch.  Because what you put out into the world WILL come back to you.

     In the meantime, my life is better than ever.  Happy, adorable kids.  Happy home.  And a marriage that becomes stronger, closer, and happier every day.

Not That I Have Time

O  K  .  .  .

Thanks for bearing with me through all the craziness this weekend.  I think we have things worked back out.  Or, at least, the kinks are getting ironed.  Functionality has been restored.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Drama?  Eff.

Moving forward, I still have 6 million things I want to post, but I am rolling right along at work right now and don't have a whole lot of time for that.  Additionally, I'm busy trying to resurrect the last 3 years of this here sad little blog ONE. POST. AT. A. TIME.  Erg.

Aside from the drama, it the long weekend was shockingly low key.  Really.  We went to a tiki bar and the beach with Boo and his friend, slept unusual hours, and watched a few movies - some surprisingly good (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry - highly recommend) and some not so much (Your Highness - do NOT watch this movie).

Can't wait to catch up with everyone - though it may take me a few days to get totally settled back in.

And, ohbytheway, in case you were wondering; in case I haven't mentioned it lately; did you know that I have the Best Husband Ever?  Yeah, I thought you already knew that.  But it never hurts to remind you.  ;-)

Anniversary

      Today, MacGyver and I have been married for three years.  Last year, I pondered the reasons why it feels like we've been married so much longer than that, and yet feels like we just got married yesterday.  That feeling still holds true.

      I will probably do a big, mushy, or at least thoughtful, anniversary post at some point this week, but it won't be today.  I just got back from the range and I have to conduct an Article 32 hearing in a couple hours which is likely to go late.  We're not really doing much for the anniversary today.

      Or, at least, that was my understanding.  Of course, MacGvyer simply can't resist an opportunity for romantic surprises. 

      This morning, I dragged my poor, tired body out of bed at 0400 again, got ready, and was out the door, headed to the Armory to pick up my weapon by 0450.  Picked up my M16, then drove over to the range to stand around in the dark waiting for range personnel to figure out what they were doing.

      I was standing by my car, putting on my cartridge belt when a vehicle drove up behind me.

      "Surprise," someone said quietly.

      At first, I didn't even realize the person was talking to me.  Then it sort of dawned on my just how close the voice was, and the fact that this truck had not parked, but was stopped right behind me.  I turned around to find MacGyver grinning at me, which a bag of dark chocolate pecan cookies and a card.

      Seriously, he is the sweetest husband ever.

      So now, I'm gathering up everything for the 32 and heading home to change.  MacGvyer is at a PTO meeting that started really late, so I won't be able to see him.

      So he says . . .

       That's the thing being married to a master romance trickster, on days like today, you're always off gaurd.  Either I'll go home and change and not get to see him until late tonight, or I'll be walking into some big surprise.

      We'll see . . .

       I have to decide whether to give him his gift (which I'm really excited about) today or this weekend when we go out . . .

      Lastly, and this is important:
If you are the person who has been typing weird "ex" related search terms into the search box on the right, PLEASE let me know who you are.  Search terms like "ex," "ex boyfriend," "evil ex," and so on.  I find these searches really, really disturbing and if you know much about my past you'll know that I am serious in being nervous about my ex.  So please put my mind at ease and let me know if you're the person searching those terms.

A Cluttered Mind

 . . . is a sign of genius, right?  Or is it a cluttered desk? 

. . .

Either way, I've got both!

Here are some of the random thoughts floating around my brain today in the midst of a flood of work/family/anniversary/range/life stuff:

Have you been over to Brittany Ann's blog, Living in the Moment?  It's awesome.  She's pretty busy lately what with the adorable new little girl in her life, but she doesn't fail to post true-life, always entertaining blogs.  She recently posted one in particular that I'd like to draw your attention to.  I ramble on about Ethical Eating a lot, but I've done precious few posts about making Ethical Eating work in a real world family situation.  And now I have an excuse to put it off a little longer because Brittany has done an awesome one!
Check it out:  It's Organic - on a budget.

Did you know that I'm on Pinterest now?  Yes, I am a social media whore.  Check me out!  Add me!  I always follow back!  See the button over there on the right?  Click it!  It's fun!



And speaking of following back, if you're a new follower, and I haven't followed you back yet, PLEASE leave me a comment or shoot me an email CheapWineandCookies at the gmail dot com and let me know.  For very boring reasons, I can't access my followers list.  But if you comment, I'll gladly follow you!

I've become the shallow kind of blogger who mostly only reads the blogs of those who comment on mine.  Why?  I like building the relationships that come from mutual commenting.  If you feel I haven't commented on your blog enough lately, feel free to let me know!  But be willing to comment here once in a while.

I don't comment every day.  I don't have time.  But if you comment here sometimes, I'll make a point to read your blog and comment when I can.

I still haven't finalized anniversary plans . . .  woops.

BUT MacGyver's gift should be arriving in the mail any day now.  Super excited.

Lastly:

If you have something you want to say to me, just come on out and say it.  I'm a big girl, I can take it.  Otherwise, leave me the hell alone.

Offensive

      I have refrained from saying this for a long time because I KNOW it will offend someone.  But I am not having the best morning in the world and I just found out that we lost one of our Marines because he slept with another Marine's wife - and we were already incredibly short staffed. 

     We all know that I detest adulterers. It's gross, dirty, narcissistic, and deceitful - and that's just the beginning.  And I will seriously never understand why anyone would ever enter into a relationship with someone they know is an adulterer.

     What I haven't said is this:

      If you are a servicemember and you sleep with the spouse of another servicemember, you are SCUM.  I could care less whether you know the other servicemember or not.  I don't care if you've never even laid eyes on them.  I don't care if the spouse is a giant wh*** (male or female).  I don't care if the spouse claims the marriage is over or they hate the other service member or the marriage was a mistake or any other freaking excuse.  You DON'T betray a fellow servicemember like that.  You. Just. DON'T.

      And the same goes for military spouses.  I have seen WAY too many spouses eff over excellent servicemembers by being self-centered, self-pitying wh****s.  Being a military spouse is hard.  A lot of the time, it downright sucks.  And you know what?  I don't give a damn.  That is NO excuse.  You don't like it, get out.  Don't go screwing other servicemembers.  It's sick, and it's inexcusable.  If it is that hard for you to refrain from having sex with other people, you are completely trashy and that's all there is to it.  You are also, you should know, a complete joke within the ranks.  The second any servicemember knows what you did, we know exactly what to think of you.

      If you're offended, so be it.  And if by some freak occurance you are that Marine that our shop just lost because you couldn't keep it in your pants or respect your fellow Marine enough to keep it away from that Marine's spouse, you're a jackass.  To say the least.

* * * End Rant. * * *

      And I'm a little sad.  I know I was off the map for a couple weeks and didn't really post anything, but I put up a post Sunday and haven't gotten a single comment on it.  Have I really finally driven everyone away?

      I promise today I'll put up a more cheerful post.  I just needed to get that vent out of the way so I could start my day off right.  ;-)

V is ofr Vacation VLOG

      We got back from our wonderful, awesome, fun, and relaxing trip to Michigan at around 5 this morning.  And let me tell you, the last 20 miles was a s t r e t c h.  But we're home and settled in now.  Flintstone even let me sleep until 8:30 this morning.  ;-)

      I have mountains of stuff I want to post (as always), but I also have a house full of baggage that needs to be unpacked and some major decompressing to do.  So in lieu of a real post, here is my first ever Cheap Wine and Cookies VLOG.  I have to admit I was seriously considering not posting it.  I look like hell and it's boring as all get out.  Honestly, I'm not a big fan of VLOGs.  But what the hell.  It's not like I'm trying to impress people with my blog, and those of you who like to pick apart my every move will pick and pick no matter what I post, so here you go:




And if, by some miracle of attention span, you made it through that one without glazing over and passing out, I'll throw this little bonus piece in.  This is why one should not do VLOGs - or any kind of video, really - with uninvited "guests" present:



(By the way, I didn't really do anything illegal.  And even if I did, there is absolutely no way to prove it in court ;-))

I'm looking forward to being back on a regular blogging schedule soon, not to mention catching up on what everyone else has been up to.  There's no way in heck I'm going to have time to go back and read everyone's blogs covering the last two weeks, so if you've posted anything particularly exciting or entertaining while I've been away, please drop it in the comments so I can check it out.  It's an invitation to free self promotion!

And if you're looking for something new to read, check out the posts people recommend in the comments!

Wide Open Post

      Is there something that you really want to know about me that I've just never mentioned hear on this blog?  Or something I've mentioned or alluded to that left you curious?

       Have I said something or is there something I do on the blog that just drives you freaking nuts?

       Is there something you'd really like to see or know more about?

       Do you want to know more about Ethical Eating?

       Do you think I'm just completely full of it when I talk about the way my family eats or lives?

       Well, this is your chance to ask me anything.  Tell me anything.  Comment, critisize, inquire, request.  Hell, you want to see a picture of the super ugly phase I went through when I was younger?  Just ask. 

       Please.

       I want to know what you all think of the blog.  I want to know what you are curious about.  It can be personal.  It can be factual.  It can NOT be a request for legal advice.

       So I'm asking you to ask away.  Or even kvetch away, if there's just something that annoys you.  I can take it (though I may wonder WHY you read my blog if I annoy you . . .).

       I'm not even just asking you to ask.  I'm begging.  Pleading.

       Demanding.

      Because, let's face it. 

      That's really more my style.

      Give me something, anything, to work with.  You want to see the boudoir shots from around the time we got married?  Ask away.  There's no chance in hell, but you can ask if you want ;-)

       I want feedback.  I want substance.  I want, damnit.

      And it will benefit you to give me what I want.

     Because, otherwise, you're going to get more posts about children vomiting on the carpet and 638 pictures of the various water parks we visit this summer.

      Also, have you ever clicked on the "Linked Within" widget at the bottom of my posts?  Just curious.

      And if you participate in VLOG post link ups, I may have an upcoming VLOG or two, so let me know . . .
  
      How's that for a random non-post?

WWTK Wednesdays: Grass Week

So, next week I'm on the range, meaning I have to go back to get my annual qualifications on the M16 and the 9mm.  Range week is going to be crazy because it will require me to be out of the office most of the day every day the entire week.  Sweating my ass off and showing some little paper guys who's boss.  This week is what's called "Grass Week."  Basically, refamiliarizing with the feel of the weapon in the various firing positions and a lot of dry firing.  Also in the heat.  Also not in my office.  So another crazy week.




This is from Range Week last year at TBS.


We Want to Know Wednesday Q&A hosted by:

Impulsive Addict, Janette, Mamarazzi and Seriously Shawn

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This week's questions are from Janette:

{1}Name five of your favorite new blogs that you're reading.

This is harder than it should be.  I’ve been reading a number of wonderful new blogs lately, but it’s hard to say which are my 5 favorite new ones.

Bonzai Aphrodite does spring immediately to mind as well as Anywhere There’s an Airport, Manager to Mom, and Sunlight After Rain.  That’s only 4.  I’m saving the other spot for someone I’m obviously forgetting.  I’ve gotten 3 or 4 new followers in the last couple weeks, but because of the stupid blocking software on this computer, I don’t know who they are!  The # 5 spot is honorarily theirs in case I haven’t mentioned them yet.  And don’t be shy about dropping a comment to tell me you’re one of my newer followers; I’d appreciate it!

{2} When you were a young child or teenager, did you have an idea of how many children you wanted and what their names would be? Did you follow through on your ideas?

When I was a kid, I figured I’d have one boy and one girl and I went through a whole slew of silly names.  In my later teens, I did not want kids at all but figured it was inevitable.  I decided I would name a girl Sage and a boy Tane.  Currently, I would like  a flock of children and I have a list of about 15 names for each gender that I LOVE.

{3} What is the silliest thing you fight with someone about? Could be your spouse, sibling, parents, co-worker etc.

Somehow – and I’m still not really sure HOW this always ends up happening – but somehow almost every time we visit my mom, my brother, mom, and I get into a playful argument about a few particular words.  When I get annoyed with my brother, I tend to call him a penis.  He calls me a vagina in retort.  My mom HATES that word.  HATES it.  So then she gets all mad and starts insisting that we both use the word twat.  I hate that word.  Ick.

Yes, that is the silly argument that gets repeated with frightening regularity.

{4} What is your favorite scent that other's may not find very nice? ie: gasoline, sweat from your sweetie, etc.

Hot asphalt in the summer.  It makes me sad because it’s really a sign of bad things for the environment, but, nevertheless, I love the smell.

{5} Thoughts on Plastic Surgery? (had it? want it? regrets?)

I’m not a fan.  If it’s purely cosmetic (boob jobs, face lifts, lipo, etc.), I think it contributes to the overall problem of unrealistic expectations in the US of how the human body, especially but not only, the female body, is supposed to look.

That said, I’m not going to malign anyone for getting it.  At least not to their face.  And probably not behind their back either, unless they have some personality traits that I also don’t like.  But really, it’s an individual decision and I recognize that different people have different views.

And I’m technically getting major plastic surgery in a year or so.  Granted, it’s corrective, but still . . .

Q1 is from HomeSickCajun

Q2 is from LindiciousLife

Q3 is from JessicaMcCoy
Q4 is from Amy@991